


A Fool In Love

by blushmepink



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo is Not Nice, Ben Solo is a jerk, Boss/Employee Relationship, CEO Ben Solo, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Lovers to enemies to lovers, M/M, Pining, Poor Rey, Poor Rey (Star Wars), Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), rich man poor woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:40:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22672696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushmepink/pseuds/blushmepink
Summary: Two months ago, Rey Erso-Andor, had fallen hard for a struggling teaching assistant.  After finally sleeping together, she was crushed when he ghosted her.  So imagine her surprise and horror when she learns that her new boss is none other than her one-time lover, Kylo Ren...or rather, Benjamin Solo!Or the modern AU where the innocent Rey meets the manwhore Kylo Ren.(Loosely inspired by Judith McNaught's Double Standards)***COMPLETED***
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 289
Kudos: 675





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

“I want you, Rey,” He muttered huskily. Then his mouth opened over hers in a shattering kiss that sent her spiraling off into darkness where nothing existed except the sensual male lips locked fiercely, demandingly, to hers. His large hand tangled in the mass of hair at her nape, and his tongue plunged into her mouth, stroking and caressing, tasting her sweetness. Rey’s lips softened and began to move with his, stimulating the desire already flaring between them. He slanted his mouth expertly, his tongue retreating before plunging in again and again. Against her, Rey felt the bold evidence of his rising passion, and shudders of pleasure raced through her. Mindlessly, she arched herself upward in fevered need, and his arm tightened across her hips, pulling her even closer to his rigid thighs.

He dragged his mouth roughly across her flushed cheek and even his whisper was hoarse with need. “Sweetheart, you’re killing me here,” He breathed against her lips.

Rey could barely think before those seductive lips captured hers in another searingly hot kiss that left them both wanting more. She was sinking into this abyss of desire too fast, and too deeply, to break free. When he finally tore his mouth from hers, she was panting, her breathing shallow and rapid as his lips trailed down her chin, down her throat to nip lightly at the base of her neck. A moan of pleasure burst forth from her, her head falling back to give him further access. His tongue and teeth continued to tease even as his hands moved to her waist, pulling her hard against his thickening cock. Rey gasped at the new pressure, at the new sensation.

“I’ve waited an eternity for you, Rey. Don’t ask me to wait any longer.”

The meaning Rey read into those words banished her last doubts about how deeply he really felt about her, and about the rightness of what she was doing. She made no move to stop him when his hands slipped under her silk top, pulling it up and over her head. Her heart was racing at lightning speed.

“Look at me,” He coaxed softly.

Rey tried to lift her eyes to his and couldn’t. She swallowed nervously, audibly.

Cupping her cheeks, he turned her face up to his, his mesmerizing eyes gazing deeply into hers. “We’re going to do this together,” He said quietly. Guiding her hand to the front of his shirt, he pleaded with his eyes. “Unbutton me,”

Rey slowly undid each of his buttons, unknowingly heightening his excitement by her slowness. Her fingers moved of their own volition, pushing his shirt open, exposing his pale, broad chest. He was fucking shredded, muscular and smooth with washboard abs. He was so beautiful, Rey thought, intoxicated by the sight of him.

“Touch me,” He ordered, his voice thick with passion.

She required no more urging, guided by love and instinct, she slid her hands sensuously over his perfect pectorals and hard nipples before leaning forward to lick his hard, muscular flesh. A shiver ran the length of his body at the first brush of her tongue, and his free hand slid to the back of her nape, tilting her face up to his. For a moment, he just gazed at her, his eyes smoldering with pent-up desire, and then he lowered his head.

His lips were warm and exquisitely gentle at first, tasting and shaping hers. And then they slowly parted, and his tongue began to explore her mouth with a languorous hunger that drove Rey wild with pleasure. The man knew how to kiss! His lips were hard, insistent, demanding, tantalizingly thorough.

She arched into him, her hands gliding over his bare chest and he lifted his head. His dark eyes bore into hers, seeing his own desire reflected in their brownish-green depths. He drew a labored breath, visibly trying to slow his passion, and lost the battle. “God, I want you!” He said fiercely, and his hard lips crashed down on hers, his tongue parting her lips and driving into her mouth in a kiss that sent fire exploding through her body.

Rey moaned, molding herself to his hardened thighs, and his hands moved over her, sliding up the sides of her breasts, her back, then lower, forcing her hips tighter to the throbbing heat of his swollen cock. She might be a novice but whatever he was packing was  _ huge _ . Nerves threatened to break through the haze of passion before, suddenly - the world tilted as he swept her up easily into his arms, his mouth devouring hers while he moved her onto the bed, following her down and covering her with his big body.

He shifted on top of her, and something wild and fierce stirred deep within her, ready to welcome him. But the moment his knee wedged its way between her legs to spread them apart, Rey’s entire body jerked into rigid, involuntary alarm. She felt vulnerable, consciously comprehending that he was much much bigger than she. “Wait!?” She gasped, clamping her legs together.

“Are you denying me...us?”

The ache in his voice shattered her resistance. She shook her head slowly, her eyes still on him as she reached down to unclasp her bra. “I want you, too.” Her voice was a breathy, needy whisper. 

“Beautiful, Rey...you’re so fucking beautiful…” He said reverently, staring at her naked breasts as if he had never seen something so beautiful. At that moment, Rey didn’t mind her rather small breasts...not when he was lapping the soft nipples into hardened points. She closed her eyes, leaning into the soft pillow as he drew one tip into his warm mouth. Her moan was loud and long as he closed his mouth completely over one tip and began to suckle her strongly. Tremors of raw pleasure coursed through her body. Rey’s fingers clenched convulsively in his thick hair, holding his head to her breast, then gliding over the bunched muscles of his shoulders and arms.

“Yes,” She sobbed, wriggling to get closer to him. “Yes…”

“Soon, sweetheart…” He dragged his tongue over her taut nipple, and his hand slid down her body to caress the soft flesh between her thighs. “You’re already so wet for me...so ready...:”

Rey would have been embarrassed but then he was stroking the little hidden nub that kindled with excitement and all rational thought dissolved. His rough thumb circled delicately before pressing on her most sensitive center rhythmically, making her writhe in desperation. He inserted a thick, long finger into her tightness and all she could do was cry out. His finger pumped into her slowly, while his thumb continued to stroke her mercilessly. The onslaught of sensation, with his mouth still on her breast and his hands on her pussy, proved too much. She let out a hoarse cry as her orgasm crashed over her, her sex clenching around his fingers in throbbing contractions.

When she floated back down to earth, she was conscious of him kissing her wet cheeks, breathing words of endearments and praise. She wound her arms around his neck, drawing him to her as her hips lifted. He plunged full-length with a deftness that gave Rey only an instant of pain, a pain that was forgotten as he began to move with tormenting slowness inside of her. His hands cupped her firm butt, lifting her to meet his steadily quickening thrusts until she sensed the approach of another climax. She felt hot, fevered, desperate, her head tossing from side to side in pure wanton need. He angled his hips slightly, entering her more deeply, hitting her cervix, pushing her closer and closer to her peak, until Rey’s love and passion finally exploded into shuddering ecstasy. Her inner muscles tightened around him, milking a climax from him. 

Sometime after midnight, Rey rolled over and saw his dark head on the pillow beside her. He was so beautiful and he was all hers, she thought, smiling dreamily before sinking back into the deep slumber of blissful exhaustion. She did not awaken again until he sat down on the bed.

“Good morning,” She said shyly, her smile fading as she realized that he had already showered, shaved and dressed in tailored black slacks and a black dress shirt with sleeves rolled to the elbows. “Is something wrong?” She asked, holding the sheet to her breasts as she struggled into a sitting position. She felt awkward and vulnerable being stark naked while he was fully dressed but he seemed unaware of her discomfort. Hell, he seemed unaware of her nakedness.

“Rey, I’m afraid we’re going to have to cut this weekend short. A family emergency. I didn’t want to leave without telling you, of course. My driver will take you home while I take care of the...emergency.”

Forty-five minutes later, as he walked her out of the hotel to the car, Rey’s earlier disappointment had grown into confused alarm. Where was the passionate lover from last night, the one who’d given her multiple orgasms? This man was cordial and impersonal, behaving not at all like her boyfriend. Which he most definitely was...her boyfriend, that is. They’d seen each other fairly regularly the past few weeks, their physical relationship finally culminating in last night’s lovemaking. Had she been wrong? Or was this the way men always acted after sex? Or maybe she was overreacting...after all, he had a family emergency to handle.

Rey turned towards him, lifting her head for a kiss only to find he had taken a step backward. He looked at her levelly, his eyes unreadable despite the slight upturn of his lips. “Rey, last night was wonderful. Please let me know when you’ve arrived home. We’ll talk when I’m back in town.”

Too flustered to speak, she could only nod. Then she was sliding into the backseat of the luxurious sedan. As the driver pulled out, she dared another glance only to see that he was already strolling back into the hotel, never once looking back to the car...to her.

The ride back to Chandrila felt longer than the two hours it required but Rey didn’t notice, also missing the worried looks from the kind driver, Mitaka, as she stared silently out the window. Her face was pale, her eyes wide and slightly vacant as she recalled the past few weeks. They had laughed together and gotten to know each other, flirted and bantered like a regular couple. She’d thought they’d grown close...surely he didn’t intend to just walk away and forget about her. Her brows pleated in concern. Surely, he felt the same about her as she did him, right? She was in love with the man, and she knew he at least liked her...perhaps was falling in love with her, too. Still, Rey couldn’t shake the feeling of having been used and then thrown away like yesterday’s trash.

_ “We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.” _ The recording sounded in her ear for the tenth time in less than two minutes, her complete and utter humiliation complete. Rey had no other way of contacting him as he had no social media profile and she didn’t even have his email address. As a last resort, she tried his apartment building’s front desk and even the university’s main office. Both responses were the same.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but we do not know of this Kylo Ren you are asking for.” Had been the cool distant answer.

Rey collapsed to the floor in pure devastation. The one time she’d actually trusted a man with her body and he’d ghosted her. She was such a fool...a fool in love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

For two long months, Rey agonized over him, her bouts of crying interrupted by anger and rage at being played for a fool. She had really thought he was her endgame...but it seemed she didn’t know him at all. In one of her low moments, wine in one hand and chocolate fudge brownie ice cream in another, she’d googled his name for any tidbit, any clue about his current whereabouts. What she’d found shocked her. She wasn’t even sure how she found it as his name wasn’t tagged but there he was on her Instagram feed. It was a picture of him swapping spit with an Instagram model...a Bazine Netal...against the backdrop of a setting sun and it looked like they were on a yacht, a large body of water behind them. It had been posted two days after he’d dismissed her from the hotel...after their night together.

Hysterical laughter bubbled up inside Rey. While she had been driven home, he had already been onto his next conquest. While she had waited for his call, text, communication of any kind from him, he’d been sunbathing on a yacht in tropical waters with Bazine. Humiliation washed over her in drowning waves and exploded through her body. Her shoulders shook with silent wrenching sobs and she folded her arms over her knees, burying her face in them. She wept for her stupidity, for her shattered illusions and broken dreams. Shame sent more tears pouring from her eyes - she’d given her virginity to a man who’d only seen her as another notch on his bedpost.

She was such a fool. A poor, besotted fool. 

“Hey, Rey, sweetie, how are you doing?” 

Swallowing her misery, she turned to see her best friend’s concerned face. Her long lashes were spiked with tears and her hazel eyes were swimming. “Oh, Finn - I really thought - “ She stopped to draw a tortured breath. “I really thought he was the one, Finn!”

The compassion on Finn’s face was more than she could bear but then he was enveloping her in his arms, offering comfort and sympathy. He held her, tenderly rubbing her back as she sobbed her pain and heartache. For how long they stayed there, she didn’t know.

“Thank you, Finn,” She pulled away from him slowly, feeling drained but also cleansed.

“How do you feel, peanut?”

“I feel embarrassed...and pretty foolish,” 

“You’ve just experienced your first adult heartbreak, Rey.” Finn patted her head. “It happens to all of us.”

Rey only nodded, her eyes staring ahead blindly. She thought she would cry again but she didn’t. Nor did she cry during the hours spent cleaning her neglected flat. She did laundry, tidied up her closet, cleaned out her pantry and fridge and even rearranged the furniture in her small studio. Not once did she give another thought to the tall, dark and handsome man who had wooed her, made her fall for him, and promptly discarded her without warning. No, there were no more tears left in her. 

Rey’s hand shook slightly as she applied her lipstick and brushed some mascara onto her already long lashes. She took a cursory glance at her phone; Rose Tico would be here in less than twenty minutes. Walking over to her small closet, she removed a black sleeveless jumpsuit. The top of the modern jumpsuit was lace with a nude underlay so it wasn’t see-through, the V-neck decidedly modest and the pants tapered nicely to her ankles. There were zippers on either side, allowing for easy removal. She stepped into dainty black sandals, adding two inches to her already five-foot-seven frame. Her battered pride demanded she look her best tonight, especially when it was for such an important event. She was dressing for herself, purely for herself and no one else.

Closing the closet door, she stepped back to survey her full-length image in the mirror. She looked pretty good, her dark brown hair pulled back into a high bun atop her head, showing off her high cheekbones, perfect jawline and long, graceful neck. Tonight was the beginning of the rest of her life, she thought, searching through her jewelry box for the precious dainty gold bracelet that had belonged to her late aunt. 

Where are they, she wondered a little frantically a moment later. She couldn’t have lost them - she was always so careful with them. They were the only things of her beloved aunt’s that she had. She had worn them to the date with Kylo at Lake Takodana. Oh, God...of course - the bracelet was probably somewhere on that bed, in that damn hotel room!

Rey leaned her hands on the dresser, and her head fell forward as a fresh surge of anger and pain raged through her. No doubt they were gone now, lost in that stupid bed the same way she’d lost her virginity...and forgotten.

Her phone beeped; probably a text message from Rose that she was here and waiting downstairs. Grabbing her soft leather jacket and small purse, she hurried to join her friend.

“Wow, babe, you look hot!” Rose exclaimed before pulling the car from the curb and into the hectic Saturday night traffic.

“You, too, hon,” Rey’s gaze was admiring as they took in the Asian girl’s LBD that showed of her shapely petite frame.

“Can you believe they’re engaged!?” 

“I know, it’s crazy but it’s about damn time!”

“Hurry up and sign the card, Rey.” 

Rey reached down into the Target bag to do just that, grateful that she and Rose had decided to pull their meager savings together to get an engagement present for Finn and Poe. Being lowly interns at New Resistance Technologies, it was an understatement to say they made quite less than their best friends.

“You holding up okay?” 

They were heading across the lobby of the prestigious hotel where the private party was being held, their high heels clicking on the marble floors.

“I am, actually. Thanks for asking, Rose,” But when the elevator doors swept open to the elegant restaurant on the eightieth floor, Rey took one look at the animated crowd milling around, and felt suddenly nervous. The engagement party was in full swing, revelers holding their champagne flutes and grazing on butler-passed canapes. 

“Let’s go say hi,” Rose linked their arms, leading Rey through the tastefully decorated room.

While greeting her friends, Rey caught something in the corner of her eye, a shiver of apprehension straightening her spine. Her face paled when she saw a group of people shifted to one side...and there was an unmistakable creature among them. He was one of the tallest people in the room, standing out even from across the large room. His dark head was thrown back as he laughed at something being said. Rey’s heart pounded uncontrollably as her gaze took in his handsome, striking features; the elegant ease with which he wore his impeccably tailored dark suit; the casual way he held his drink in his massive hand. She noticed every painfully familiar thing about him. And then she noticed the beautifully statuesque blonde who was smiling at him, her hand resting familiarly on his sleeve. The woman was not Bazine Netal...just how many girlfriends did the man have, she wondered even as anguish poured through Rey’s veins like hot acid, a rope of tension coiled around her chest threatening to suffocate her. 

“Rey, hey, what’s wrong?” Poe Dameron touched her arm gently, drawing her attention.

Rey turned to find three sets of very concerned eyes fixed on her. As one, the three friends closed in around her, going into protective mode. “It’s him...the man...Kylo Ren. He’s here!” She gasped, jerkily motioning with her head to the tall figure at the opposite end of the room.

“Wait?! What? How can that be?” Finn held her hands before taking a quick survey around the room.

“We know everyone here tonight, Rey, and we most definitely do not know of a Kylo Ren!” Poe insisted, his olive complexion reddening in fury at the prospect of a party crasher - the same idiot who had hurt his sweet Rey. Despite this being a special night for him and Finn, he was definitely one to stoop as low as to hit a man!

“Are you sure, Rey? What does he look like?” Rose frowned, looking in the direction of Rey’s head. Her eyes widened in shock. Gwen Phasma, Armitage Hux and the newly appointed hard-ass CEO of New Resistance Technologies were a part of that group. She really shouldn’t be surprised at seeing the top executives here, after all, Poe was one of them.

Before anything more could be said, the sound of metal hitting glass grabbed their attention. It was Poe’s adoptive parents, Leia and Han Solo, also the founders and shareholders of the large tech company, who stood on the little stage where the band was playing. They were clinking a fork to their champagne flutes, the universal sign that they wanted their guests’ attention to say a few words. Words of congratulations to the newly engaged couple...words that Rey barely heard over the roaring in her ears.

Rey felt a light squeeze and saw that Rose had pulled her aside, guiding her away from the spotlight that was now on Finn and Poe. God, but Rose was such a great friend. She allowed herself one more look at Kylo, who had yet to notice her - Thank God! - before tearing her gaze away. She opened her mouth to speak to Rose, but saw the taut set of her jaw and on her face was angry desolation and helpless yearning - the same emotions Rey had experienced a moment ago when she’d looked at Kylo Ren.

“Are you okay, Rose?” Rey whispered, forgetting her own distress.

“Yea...I’m fine, I guess. It’s just I didn’t expect to see my boss here,” Rose was referring to the tall ginger in the dark grey suit, of course. She worked under him as one of the aides to his personal assistant. 

Her friend, Rey instantly concluded, was in love with Armitage Hux. Placing a soothing arm over the shorter woman’s shoulders, she inhaled several long deep breaths to pull herself together. She had rehearsed for this, her past few nights spent imagining how she would confront him - if at all, should she ever see him again. Well, here he was in the flesh and she was ready, damn it! She would not give him the satisfaction of surprising her. Rey paused to mentally prepare herself. Because of what had happened, Kylo would naturally expect her to be hurt and angry, but she had no intention of letting him see that she was either. Instead she was going to convince him that their weekend in Lake Takodana had been nothing but an amusing little fling to her, just as it had obviously been to him. Under no circumstances would she treat him coldly, because by coldness she would show him that she still cared enough to be angry. Even if it killed her, she was going to treat him with casual, detached friendliness - the same sort of impersonal friendliness she showed the security guard or the parking attendants at work.

“Please raise our glasses in congratulations to the happy couple!” 

Rey joined the loud applause as the Solos ended their speech, laughing and pushing aside her pain. Even Rose was back to her old, bubbly self. 

“Come on, girl...I need something stronger than champagne,” Rose dragged Rey towards the bar.

“Oh, geez, Rose...you’re driving,” 

“We’ll Uber home and I can pick up the car in the morning,” The restaurant was close to their office building so Rose’s plan was solid.

During the next half hour, they circulated among the guests, socializing with their many colleagues and even some university friends. The two were having a great time despite their broken hearts, smiling and laughing and sharing stories as they drank the free booze and indulged in shrimp cocktail and mini beef wellingtons and bacon-wrapped figs. Rey had to eat to combat the drinking, not the least embarrassed when Poe and Finn showed up with The Solos and her mouth was full of wild mushroom tartlet. 

“This is Rey,” Poe made the introductions. “Rey, these are my parents, Leia and Han Solo

“She’s one of my best friends,” Finn added, rolling his eyes slightly as he waited for her to finish chewing.

“Ah, the girl we’ve heard so much about.” Leia said, her brown eyes twinkling.

Rey shook their hands warmly, her grip firm. “Only good things I hope.” She quipped. “Thank you for having me.”

“Where’s Rose?” Finn looked around for the petite woman.

“She went to the powder room,” Rey answered.

“Rey, that’s not a very common name for a girl,” Han commented before his wife elbowed him in the side.

“Now, honey, you’re not supposed to say such things in this PC society,” Leia reprimanded.

“Oh, it’s okay. I get that a lot. I go by Rey but it’s really Kirey - which is somehow worse -” Rey explained.

“Kirey? We know a Kirey!” Leia exclaimed, hands going to her cheeks in recognition. “Are you Kirey Erso-Andor?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake - Jyn and Cassian’s kid?” Han groaned, rubbing his jaw. “Your accent is British, isn’t it?” 

“Yes, yes and yes,” Rey looked confused. Her parents lived in England, still traveling the country in the same caravan she’d grown up in and as far as she knew, they did not have any wealthy friends.

“Funny story, actually...but we’re old university friends,” Han answered. “My brother-in-law, Luke, also knows them,”

Rey frowned before breaking out into a bright sunny smile. “Luke Skywalker? The cranky hippie? I know him; he often stayed with us,”

“Yep, that’s my brother - twin brother,” Leia laughed, pulling Rey into a hug. “I am so delighted. When Jyn said her daughter was studying in the States, I never imagined that we would meet since the university is a few hours away and all!”

“We saw your parents just last week actually,” Han continued.

“Wow, Rey, you already know my family?” Poe was looking from his parents to his fiance’s best friend - one of his best friends now, too - in astonishment.

“You’re forgetting the most important family member, bro,” The dry comment was said in an achingly familiar, laughing voice right behind her. “Aren’t you forgetting your beloved baby brother?”

Rey’s whole body snapped into rigidity at the sound of Kylo’s deep baritone, then she forced herself to turn. One look at the amusement in his chocolate eyes as he waited for her reaction made her pride come to her aid. Although she was dying a thousand deaths inside, she managed an inquiring smile.

“And, this is my little brother, Benjamin Solo,” Poe clasped his brother by the neck, pulling him down until their foreheads were touching before releasing him.

“Not little, Poe - definitely younger, though,” The massive man quipped.

Rose took that moment to return, giving Rey a few precious minutes to compose herself while more introductions were made. Kylo fucking Ren wasn’t even his real name! Why was she even surprised? He’d played her from the beginning...false name, false intentions, false hope. Had anything he’d told her been true, she wondered bitterly. Almost succumbing to her blind fury, she felt Rose move closer to her side before linking their arms together in a show of support and solidarity. Somehow, Rose knew that the man standing in front of them was responsible for Rey’s recent misery.

“Hello, Rey,” Ben said, grinning. “Please call me Ben,”

“Hello, Ben,” Rey refused to ruin Finn and Poe’s party by calling him out; she’d have plenty of time to tell them later that Poe’s precious younger brother Ben Solo used the moniker Kylo Ren to deceive women.

“Yes, Ben, hello,” Rose put her hand out, distracting him.

Ben stiffly closed his hand around hers. “Hello, Rose,”

Rey turned a bright, expectant smile on Leia and Han. “I’d love to hear old stories of Mum and Dad, Leia. Rose, did you know that my parents are friends of Poe’s parents?” 

“No way, wow, what a small world...” Rose exaggerated her genuine interest.

With the last remaining ounce of her vanishing poise, Rey raised her hazel eyes to Ben’s inscrutable features and said politely. “Will you excuse us, please?”

Rey was actually enjoying herself, effortlessly charming and witty as she conversed with Leia and Han. It helped immensely that the couple were friendly and humorous, regaling Rey and her friends about their past exploits with the Erso-Andors. Their lively conversation drew quite a crowd as the topic shifted from Rey’s parents to the tech company and, of course, world news. Rey soon found herself surrounded by a flatteringly large cluster of interested, admiring males, and for the rest of the evening she scrupulously avoided looking in Ben’s direction. Twice, she accidentally turned and encountered his piercing stare, and both times she casually looked right past him, as if she was searching for someone else. But after two hours, the tension of being in the same room with him had become unbearable despite the pleasant company of her friends.

She needed some solitude, a few minutes’ respite from the constant pull of his presence. She looked for Rose and saw her standing near the bar, talking to a group of women with Hux standing watch. Rose kept glancing up to Hux, who would then look away quickly. The sight almost made Rey giggle. Instead she indicated to her friend that she would be on the patio outside. Rose nodded, her expression telling her that she would join her there.

Turning, she slipped out into the welcome quiet of the cool evening. Wrapped in the velvet blackness of the night, she walked over to the chest-high wall that surrounded the patio restaurant and gazed at the panorama of lights fanning out for miles, seventy-nine stories below. She had succeeded - she had managed to treat Kylo - no, Ben - with a perfect combination of impersonal politeness and smiling disregard. Unlike most people in her situation, she hadn’t thrown a hissy fit or thrown accusations or made a scene. He must have been amazed by her blase attitude, Rey thought with tired satisfaction as she sipped her rum and coke.

Behind her, she heard the whisper of the sliding glass door opening and closing, and she breathed a sigh of relief at Rose’s appearance. “How am I doing so far?” She asked lightly.

“You’re doing so very well,” Ben’s lazy voice mocked. “I’m half convinced that I’m invisible.”

Rey’s hand shook so violently that the ice cubes in her glass clinked together. She turned around slowly, trying to gather her scattered wits. She should be unconcerned and composed, she reminded herself, as if what had happened between them had meant no more to her than it had to him. She forced her gaze upward past his black shirt and black tie, to his amused eyes. “It's a lovely party,” She commented.

“Have you missed me?”

Rey’s own eyes widened with feigned innocence. “I’ve been very busy.”

Ben walked over to the wall, leaned his elbow on it and studied her in silence. His gaze took in her appearance, from her small feet to her gorgeous face. “So you haven’t missed me at all?”

She wanted to punch him in his dumb, handsome face. “I’ve been busy,” Rey repeated, her composure slipping a tad. “And why should I miss you, Kylo? Oh, I’m sorry, _Ben_. You aren’t the only available man in the city. Ever heard of Tinder?”

His dark brow flicked upward in speculation, smirking in amusement. “Is that your way of telling me that you’ve been...ah...adding to your experience?”

Oh, God! He didn’t even _care_ if she’d slept with other men.

“And how do I compare to them, Rey? How do I rate?” He teased.

“That’s a very inappropriate question not to mention very juvenile!” Rey retorted scornfully.

“You’re right. Let’s get out of here.” Tossing down the remainder of his drink in one swallow, he put his glass on one of the tables, took hers and placed it beside his, then caught her hand. He twisted his wrist and laced his strong fingers through hers, and Rey was so giddily aware of this warm fingers firmly clasping hers that she didn't stop to think until he had started to lead her toward an unidentified door around the corner of the building.

When he reached out to open the door, sanity returned and she drew back. “Ben, I would like to ask you a question, and I want an honest answer.” He nodded. “When I left the hotel, did you ever intend to see me again - I mean, to take me out? To date me?”

Ben looked at her levelly. “No. That’s why I blocked your number and deleted your contact.”

She was still reeling from the blow of that response when he reached out again to open the door. “Where are we going?”

He shrugged. “My place, your place - it doesn’t matter as long as there’s a bed.”

“Why?” She asked tersely.

“For a smart woman, that was a very stupid question.”

Rey’s tenuous grasp on her temper promptly dissipated, her face reddening with rage. “Are you bloody kidding me here, Kylo - fuck - Ben or whatever the hell your name is!” Her body was taut, hands clenched at her sides as she stared up at him. In her anger, she was no longer intimidated by his size. “You are the most arrogant, despicable, pompous…wanker!” She stopped long enough to inhale a steadying breath and said tightly. “I can’t handle casual sex and while I have no problem with people who do - I am not one of those people!”

He snorted, arms crossed as he peered down at her. “You were one of those people a few months ago.”

“Not intentionally, you ass!”

“So you say but I remember everything about that night, Rey. You liked it!” 

She wanted to slap the smirk off of his face. “Well, I don’t like _you_!”

“You liked me well enough ten weeks ago, sweetheart!” He reminded her coolly.

Her color rose and her eyes blazed golden fire. “Ten weeks ago I thought you were the one!” She shot back angrily. “Ten weeks ago, I thought your name was Kylo Ren, a poor teaching assistant, not the bloody CEO of the largest tech company in the world - and my place of employment! You’re everything I despise in a man - amoral, unscrupulous, ruthless, selfish...you’re nothing but a liar! You wined and dined me, got into my pants and promptly dropped me like a hot potato! If I’d known who you really were, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day!”

Ben’s eyes raked the passionate young beauty standing before him in all her scornful defiance. In a dangerously soft voice, he challenged. “And now that you know who and what I am, you don’t want anything to do with me? Is that right?”

“That’s right!” Rey hissed, her voice laced with disgust. “You’re a fucking liar - “

In one swift motion, he caught her shoulders, jerked her into his arms and captured her lips in a savage kiss that was almost brutal. At his first touch, every fiber of Rey’s being quickened with longing to know again the incredible pleasure of his hard body driving deeply into hers. Her mind might be admonishing her for being an idiot but her traitorous body only wanted closer contact. Her arms hooked around his neck and she arched against his hardening cock, her hips rolling unconsciously in sensual pleasure. Ben groaned, gentling his kiss and deepening it hungrily, parting her lips with his tongue. She whimpered, loving the taste of him, the feel of his tongue rubbing against hers, the way his mouth slanted over hers again and again.

“This is insane,” he muttered. Then his mouth covered hers again. The kiss was long, passionate, and consuming. “Rey...sweetheart, let's go somewhere more private.”

Rey felt disoriented when he let her go, her mind barely registering his intentions.

“Come on, Rey, let’s go,”

Reality finally came crashing down. She shook her head. “No, I told you -”

“Spare me your lecture on my morals - or lack thereof!” He interrupted icily, his eyes which were hot with desire earlier were now coldly mocking her. “If you’re looking for a relationship and forever after, go find some man as naive as you are. But I’m not that man, Rey. Purely physical is all I want, sweetheart,”

It was like she’d been dunked in the freezing Arctic Ocean. Rey was blessedly numb to the pain of his words, her face closed off and showing none of her inner turmoil. “Wait,” She said as he pulled the door open. “I left my bracelet in that bed at the hotel. If you can find them, I want them back…” The pain was beginning to seep through her like a steady ache, intensifying with each moment. Luckily, Ben had paid her no more mind, strolling back into the party as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t just almost kissed her within an inch of her life...and oh, God but Rey wanted to climb that tree again. Wanted to feel those luscious lips on her body again...wanted to feel his big dick in her pussy again...wanted to experience the mind-blowing orgasms that his body could give her. Furiously, she wrapped her arms around her middle. Where was her pride and self-respect? He wanted a fuck buddy - nothing more! And honestly, she wasn’t even sure if it mattered to him if he got sex from Rey or any other able-bodied female. Crushingly, she wondered if he felt the same depths of attraction and pleasure with her as she did from him or if he felt that with every woman... any woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone liking the story so far? Kudos and comments are much appreciated! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, everyone! I'm always happy to hear what you think of the story so far. As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. Thanks for your support!

**Chapter Three**

“Ben Solo is Kylo Ren, isn’t he?” Rose asked quietly, her head leaning on Rey’s shoulder as they rode in the backseat of their Uber.

“Yep.” Rey’s chin rested on top of Rose’s, their hands clasped together. “So, Hux, huh?”

“Yep.”

“When?”

“Honestly, from the first moment I saw him. You?”

“Well, you know I bumped into him at the University a few months ago when I had to drop off some paperwork. Mistook him for a teaching assistant and he never corrected me...and now we know he lied about his name, too.”

“What a dickwad!”

“Yep. Isn’t Hux a tyrant?”

“Maybe but I think he’s just misunderstood.”

“If you say so...at least he’s not a manwhore.” Rey sighed. “I should’ve wondered how a poor TA could afford the penthouse suite at the Grand Hotel Takodana and a chauffeured car.” 

“What a pathetic pair of douches we fell in love with, huh? A tyrant and a manwhore,” Rose laughed without humor.

“So what do we do now?”

“I will continue my unrequited love...you - stay away from Ben Solo!”

“He’s the CEO and I’m just a lowly paralegal, Rose. I doubt I’ll see him unless he intentionally seeks me out which won’t happen since you know, he ghosted me and all.”

“Should we tell Poe that his brother’s a conniving womanizer?”

“Nah. I don’t want to ruin Poe’s pristine image of his brother. Besides, like I said, it’s not like I’ll be seeing him again,”

Rose snorted. “If not at work but what about the wedding? We’re both Finn’s Best Gals but wouldn’t he be Poe’s Best Man?”

Rey hadn’t even thought of that. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”

“We’ll take it one day at a time.” Rose repeated.

***

Early the next morning, Rey was sitting at the kitchen table, making out her meal plan for the week and adding ingredients to her shopping list though this constantly changed depending on what was available, fresh and cheap. With her low income and small savings, Rey took her budgeting very seriously, preferring to shop at the local market, cooking most of her meals and bargain hunting at thrift stores. To help ease her burden, she and Rose had developed a weekly routine that benefited them both, this being their third week and so far so good. They met at 10 o’clock at the store before spending the afternoon meal prepping for their week, combining their groceries. The friends worked together to make their lunches and dinners for the week ahead while playing music, gossiping and drinking wine. Chicken fajita meal bowls for lunch and soy-glazed pork with grilled veggies for dinner were packaged into glass containers.

After Rose left, Rey made herself a grilled ham and cheese sandwich for dinner before tidying up her flat. She needed something to busy herself, to keep from thinking about the monster that had broken her heart. Rey organized her closet, sorting through her clothes, separating her work attire from casual before arranging them by color. Once she was satisfied, she sat down at the desk and worked out a budget that would enable her to send home as much money as possible. Her oblivious parents, though loving, were absolutely terrible with finances. They were well into their fifties but neither had ever held down a steady job for longer than a year nor did they want to stop living their nomadic lifestyle. Even without a mortgage, they had managed to find themselves in debt due to her parent’s bad vices. When she was younger, Cassian had developed a gambling habit, owing money to a lot of bad people and Jyn had been hitting the bottle a little too hard. Rey’s upbringing had seemed idyllic but life took a turn when Child Protective Services had intervened, removing her from her parents’ custody. Apparently, living in a caravan with two addicted parents who were on the run from loan sharks had not been an ideal living situation for a twelve-year-old who’d never seen a public school. For two years, she had been in foster care while her parents went to rehab, doing everything the judge required of them before Rey was allowed back. The damage had been done, however, as Rey was no longer the same innocent child. Two years of being shipped from one home to the next had put shadows in her eyes and nightmares in her sleep. It had taken years of therapy, undying support from her parents and time to get the Rey of today - friendly, warm, caring, intelligent but also cautious and wary. 

Rey was especially careful about money, not wanting to ever be in a situation where she had to depend on others for food or shelter. Apart from her parents’ debts, there was her rent, her phone bill, her general living expenses plus the amount she was saving to go back to school. There seemed to be no end to the list of obligations and responsibilities. Her only hope was that she’d get a raise soon but even then, it would still be at least two more years before she had enough money saved to go to law school.

Or maybe she should start looking for another position at another company altogether, she wondered sadly. No, she shook her head, she was no quitter. She’d worked hard to get the job and she was good at it, too. Just because the CEO had fucked her didn’t mean that he would fire her, right? Well, if he did, that was grounds for a lawsuit. After all, her work was exemplary, she’d never had an oral or written warning and she hadn’t known that Kylo - Ben - was her boss’ boss’ boss when she’d made love with him. She snorted miserably at that - Ben Solo may have _fucked_ her but she had made _love_ to him. Thank God she had insisted on condoms despite being on the pill for her menses or who knows how many STDs she’d have now. The thought made her shudder in disgust and relief.

Later that night, Rey found herself staring up at the ceiling above her bed, its shadowy void as dismal as her heart as she went over the encounter with Kylo - Ben Solo - on the patio. The nerve of the man, the pure audacity of him to assume that she would jump right back into his bed as if he hadn’t ghosted her! As if he hadn’t gone right from Rey to Bazine to...God knows who! Furiously, she rolled onto her stomach. She would no longer think of him, not in a personal sense anyway. He was just her faceless boss - no more, no less! 

Much like everything else in her life, fate threw a wrench in her plans. Her day had started out well enough; she’d woken up before her alarm, giving her ample time to shower and get dressed before eating a leisurely breakfast of eggs on toast. She’d even caught the early bus, arriving at the Naberrie Building located in downtown’s Chandrila at a quarter to nine. The beautiful glass structure had an open and airy atrium that boasted an indoor garden and soothing water fountain at its epicenter. There was even a cafe that rivaled Starbucks, and the small selection of restaurants was excellent as well, supplying organic fare as well as artisan pizzas and burgers - not that Rey had ever eaten at the pricey places. 

“Rey, thank goodness! Poe’s asked for you specifically so you better head on in,” Kaydel Connix greeted her upon her entrance into the office where she worked. They were the in-house law firm for New Resistance Technologies, responsible for everything from patent to corporate and malpractice suits. Rey was one of many paralegals that supported the lawyers with Poe as the main partner. Her normally effervescent and perky colleague was wringing her hands nervously. “But he’s in a mood this morning.”

Brows pleated in worry, Rey quickly disposed of her bag - a warm yellow Fjallraven Kanken water resistant backpack that was a graduation gift from her students - at her desk before walking towards her direct superior’s office. Her steps slowed when she heard her good-nature boss yell into the phone.

“Are you kidding me? I can’t just lend you my best employee!” Poe exploded, standing up now in his frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he listened to the person on the other line. Rey bit her lower lip, noting in confusion as the slope of his high shoulders gradually dropped until finally her boss was nodding, his head bent down in defeat. “Yes, of course. I understand, Phasma. Thank you. I’m sorry about earlier - I understand the situation is out of your hands. I will send her after I have everything squared away.” 

Rey knocked lightly on his door, waited for his permission before strolling into his office. 

“Hey, there, Rey,” Poe smiled apologetically, waving at the phone. “Did you hear any of that?”

Rey nodded. “Only the last part...is everything okay, boss?” Despite their personal relationship, she liked to refer to him as ‘boss’ during working hours.

“Not really, Rey,” 

“What’s wrong?”

“This is rather unorthodox and it’s a little bit out of your job description but they need you upstairs.”

“What? I’m a paralegal - why would they need me up there?” She rolled her eyes at that.

“Remember how you minored in the Jakku language in college, not thinking that it would be useful since there aren’t many Jakku people left...well, I hope you’re still fluent,” Poe said, averting his eyes.

“I can read, write and converse in the language, Poe.” Rey said. “But why would I need to? Aren’t they very closed off from the rest of the world?”

Poe smiled at her impressive knowledge of current world politics. “They were closed off but it seems they’ve just agreed to partner with us,”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Rey...have you seen the Black Panther movie, the Marvel one?” Poe continued after her affirmative nod. “Well, Wakanda might be fiction but the nation of Jakku is not and apparently, they are more technologically advanced than the public realized. Anyway, they will only agree to negotiate with us if we have someone that can talk to their lawyers.”

“I am positive their lawyers speak English.”

“Probably but we need one of our people to know their language, you understand?”

Rey absolutely understood. “For how long will I be needed and will I get a bonus in addition to my current salary?”

Poe laughed at her forwardness. “Four weeks’ time should suffice and I will see about getting you approved for an extra 10K at the end of assignment. In the meantime, Jessika will cover your duties here.”

Rey nodded, grinning at the amount of her bonus. “Aye, aye, boss.”

Poe stood up. “You’re to report to Ben - ah, the CEO’s office immediately.”

“Wait...what?” Rey gasped, leaping to her feet in alarm, her face draining of color. “Does Ben - ah, Mr. Solo know I’m the one who’s being assigned to him?”

“The head of personnel specifically requested you, Rey,” Poe noted her pallor and leaned close. “Hey, Rey, speaking as your friend and not your boss, are you okay with all this? I don’t know what you’ve heard about my brother but he’s a fair and considerate employer. Really, you have nothing to worry about. Besides, I’m sure you’ll be working with his personal assistant the majority of the time anyway and Maz’s a doll.”

Rey could only nod, seeing his earnestly concerned expression. Now was not the time to reveal that his brother was the same monster who’d ripped her heart out and stomped it into the dirt until it was a bleeding mess. Maybe, she never will.

“Go on, then, Rey. You’ll do great.”

Walking in a daze, Rey barely remembered retrieving her backpack and riding the elevator up to the top floor and crossing the hardwood floor toward the circular desk in the center of the executive’s private reception area.

“My name is Rey Erso-Andor,” She told the receptionist, a stunningly gorgeous brunette. “The CEO requested a bilingual paralegal...er...assistant,”

The receptionist glanced over her shoulder as the doors to Ben’s office opened and a group of high-powered executives emerged. 

“I’ll tell Mr, Solo that you’re here,” She said politely before whispering into the small, discreet headset she was wearing. “Go on in, Mr. Solo is expecting you.”

The tall mahogany doors were slightly ajar, and Ben was standing behind his desk, his back to her, talking to someone on the phone. Drawing a deep breath, Rey walked into the enormous room and silently closed the doors behind her. As she waited for him to notice her, she couldn’t help but smirk at the modern decor with its black and chrome accents. The man certainly loved his black, she thought.

“Precisely,” Ben said after a pause. “The numbers look good but I want one hundred percent user satisfaction.”

He turned around then but his head was looking down, reaching for a file from his desk and flipping through it. He had removed his suit jacket, and as he slowly flipped the pages, his black shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and wide chest. Rey’s hands tingled as she recalled the rippling strength of that powerful male body, the feel of his warm, supple skin beneath her fingers...fuck, she was getting turned on. Suppressing her body’s unwelcome response to his nearness, she tore her gaze away.

“Fix the user database. I don’t care how you do it, get it done.” He said calmly into the phone. “Fine. Email me the new update.” He disconnected the call, frowning slightly as he read the messages on his phone.

Refusing to humbly and respectfully call him ‘Mr. Solo’, she said instead. “Your receptionist told me to come in.”

Ben turned abruptly, his brown eyes sardonic as he casually put the phone on his desk. He shoved his hands into his pants pockets and silently contemplated her. “You’ve chosen a poor time to apologize, Rey. I have to leave for a lunch meeting in five minutes.”

Rey almost choked on his outrageous presumption that _she_ owed _him_ an apology. Somehow she managed a cool smile. “I hate to bruise your gargantuan ego, _sir_ , but I didn’t come up here to apologize. I was informed by my superior that I was requested by personnel.”

Ben’s jaw tightened. “Why?” He snapped.

“To help with some big project that requires an additional assistant for the next four weeks.”

“Then you’re wasting my time,” He informed her coldly. “First of all, I highly doubt you are qualified or experienced enough to work at this level. And secondly, I don’t want you here.”

His condescension brought Rey’s simmering fury to a roiling boil and she couldn’t stop herself from goading him. How had she ever found the monster attractive?! 

“Perfect!” She said brightly, backing away towards the door. “Now would you be so kind as to call Ms. Phasma and tell her that? And Poe, too, of course. I’ve already given him my reasons for not wanting to work with you but he insisted that I come up here.”

Ben jabbed at the intercom. “Get me Phasma,” He snapped before his gaze sliced back to Rey. “Just what ‘reasons’ did you give him?”

“I told him that you are a reprehensible, lying asshole,” Rey lied scornfully. “And that I’d rather be flayed alive than be in close proximity to you.”

“You told your superior that?” He asked in a low, threatening voice.

Rey’s smile was firmly fixed on her face. “I did.”

“What did my beloved brother say?”

Somehow, Rey managed to endure the icy blast of his gaze as they bore into her. “Oh, he said that a lot of women you’ve slept with probably feel the same but I should put company loyalty above my justified revulsion for you.”

“Rey,” Ben said silkily, his dark eyes narrowed into slits. “You’re fired.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, apparently, a farmer's market is not considered cheap where most people are from so I've edited it out to just be a regular grocery store. 😁


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone, thank you for reading. Long chapter coming up. This work is unbeta'd and and unedited. As always, comments and kudos are appreciated.

**Chapter Four**

Inside, Rey was a churning mass of rage and pain and fear but she held onto her composure. With a regal inclination of her head, she said coolly, “I was positive you wouldn’t want me to work with you either but Poe said Ms. Phasma specifically asked for me. That you needed my fluency in the Jakku language plus my legal background, but it seems there was a mistake.”

“Jakku?” Ben scoffed wrathfully.

She turned toward him with her hand on the doorknob. “Yes. But I’m sure you can find _plenty_ of people fluent in the popular language.” She saw a nerve jerk in his tightly clenched jaw at her sarcasm, and she added in a low, scathing voice. “Do you want to know how to say ‘you’re a bastard’ in Jakku?”

Ben arched a brow, arms crossed over his chest as he waited.

Rey said the words, smirking one last time before wrenching open the door and marching towards the elevator. A hand clamped over her shoulder before she could even press the call button. 

“Back into my office. Now.” He growled between his teeth.

“Remove your hand. Now.” She growled right back, hating that she had to arch her neck back to look at him. The man was a fucking tree.

“We have an audience.” He warned. “Either you walk into my office on your own or I’ll drag you in there myself.”

“Go right ahead, Mr. CEO.” She glared up at him, not the least intimidated by the dark anger on his face. “I’ll sue you for harassment and press charges for assault.”

Unexpectedly, her threat merely extracted a reluctant, admiring grin from him. “You have the most incredibly beautiful eyes. When you’re angry, they spark green fire against honey-brown - “

“Save it for one of your women!” Rey hissed, jerking out of his grasp. Surprisingly, he released her automatically.

“Oh, but I thought you were,” He arched a brow suggestively. “One of my women, that is,”

“How dare you refer to me as such! You are my boss’ boss’ boss and you dare to - to speak about - about our past liaison!” She was so astonished by his arrogance she could barely string her words coherently.

“Are you not one of my female employees?” He reasoned, his eyes twinkling in amusement. “A woman?”

“You fired me!”

“I just rehired you.” 

“Well, I don’t want to work for you - I don’t want any part of you!”

“Little liar. You want _every_ part of me.”

His mocking confidence knocked the breath, and fight, out of Rey. In defeated frustration, she stepped back from him, averting her eyes in case he saw her helplessness. “Mr. CEO, please let me go.”

“I can’t.” His forehead was creased into a dark frown of irritated confusion. “Whenever I see you, I can’t seem to let you go.”

 _Well, fuck._ His whispered confession brought a gentle flutter in her belly, diminishing her rage dramatically. 

Rey glanced at him and saw his slow grin. She hated that devastating smile of his with his adorably crooked teeth and long dimples on either side of his mouth. It was a look that she had seen so many times the weeks they’d _dated_. She had cherished his smiles and laughter then, at the time thinking that they had seemed rare and precious. Now, though, she knew them for what they were - a weapon to weaken and soften the female sex. His attentiveness had been an act, his thoughtfulness a part of his performance to ascertain his latest conquest. Rey knew him for what he was - a lying, cheating, disreputable manwhore - and yet her traitorous heart could not resist the plea in those chocolate-brown eyes. She told herself that she needed this job - which she did! - and that was the only reason she was willingly accompanying him back towards his offices. Forget 10K...she was going to demand an additional 20K for this job!

Ben led her into his personal assistant’s office which was connected to his by a door. A diminutive woman with a cropped hairstyle and thick, coke-bottle spectacles looked up at them from her position behind her desk.

“Maz, this is Rey - ah -”

“Hello, Maz. I am Rey Erso-Andor from legal.” He didn’t even remember her surname.

“Rey will be working on the Jakku project as our main translator. While I’m at lunch, get her settled here at the spare desk and have her start translating the documents that came from their lawyers.” He turned to Rey with a warmly intimate smile in his eyes. “You and I will have a long talk when I get back.”

“I’m not sure what about, Mr. CEO.” Rey quipped, her eyes watching his retreating back and completely missing Maz’s curious expression.

Rey settled in easily, throwing herself wholeheartedly into her work. Maz left her alone, attending to her own duties and only excusing herself to use the restroom, leaving Rey to handle calls in her absence. Ben hadn’t returned yet from his lunch meeting, for which she was grateful. Maz’s line rang and Rey answered it instantly.

“Mr. Solo’s office,” She said automatically.

“Ben, please,” The woman said in a breathy drawl.

Rey squeezed the phone so hard her hand ached but her voice was professional. “I’m sorry, he isn’t in at the moment. May I take a message?”

“Oh, no. I texted him and called his cell but he didn’t answer.”

Rey could relate.

“This is Qi’ra Voss. He didn’t tell me whether the party Saturday night is formal or not. Can you tell him to please respond to my call or text?”

“Of course,” Rey almost slammed the phone down. Once a manwhore, always a manwhore, she thought bitterly. It was a relief, really that she’d gotten away with just a broken heart as a result and not something more damaging like gonorrhea or worse.

By the time, Ben returned from his lunch, her demeanor was one of polite friendliness, her face coolly composed as she greeted him. It was for four weeks, she told herself, and extra pay...she’d endure his arrogant presence for four damn weeks.

Her intercom buzzed, breaking her concentration. Ben’s deep voice sent a delicious little shiver through her, a shiver she stoically repressed. “Rey, will you come in here, please?”

Rey picked up her notepad and walked into his office. 

“Yes?” Her tone was courteous, her face a mask of professionalism.

Ben was perched on the edge of his desk, his massive arms crossed over his chest. “Come here,” he said quietly.

His relaxed stance put Rey on guard immediately, her wary gaze contemplating his intention. As she came closer, she saw the lazy, caressing look in his eyes...and did not like it one bit! What game was he playing at now? She stopped just out of his reach.

“That’s not close enough.”

“As your employee, this is _more_ than close enough.” 

Amusement gleamed in his eyes, and his voice deepened coaxingly. “I am familiar with HR protocol, Rey.”

“Could have fooled me!” Rey snorted, rolling her eyes at him.

He chose to ignore her little barb. “We need to straighten out some personal matters between us. Can we discuss it over dinner tonight?”

_Was he for real?_

Rey refused politely. “Sorry, I have plans.”

“All right, how about tomorrow night?” He held out his hand for hers, those deep brown eyes pleading.

Ignoring his unspoken message, she looked down at her notes. “You have a charity event at the Naboo Club.”

“I'm leaving for Paris on Wednesday -”

“Safe journey,”

“I’ll be back on Saturday.” He continued with a trace of impatience. “We’ll go -”

“Sorry,” Rey said with a satisfied smirk. “I’m busy Saturday, and so are you. Ms. Qi’ra Voss called to find out if the party Saturday night is formal or not. Please reply to her text or call her back.”

“I’ll break the date.” Ben said curtly, nostrils flaring in annoyance.

“Do what you want but I won’t break mine. Now, is there anything else?”

“Yes, damn it...I hurt you and I’m sorry…”

“I accept your apology.” Rey said brightly, her smile positively dazzling. “If there’s nothing else, I’d really like to get back to work, sir.”

He studied her with narrowed eyes. “Rey, I’m trying to apologize to you so that -”

“You just did and I accepted.”

“So that we can go on from here.” He finished inexorably. He ran a hand through his hair sighing impatiently before continuing. “Obviously, I’ve already informed HR about our relationship. It will be confidential, of course, given my position. But since I’m not your direct superior, we’re good to go. They just need you to complete the paperwork before we can move forward.”

“Move forward?” She asked dumbly.

“With our relationship, Rey. We have to follow proper protocol...you work in legal so you know about the paperwork that both parties need to fill out. Of course, I’d expect us to be discreet to avoid company gossip. But I think if we keep this out of the office, we can manage.”

Despite her body bowing in fury at his words, she managed to sound merely perplexed. “Manage what? A torrid affair?”

“Rey,” Ben said in a warning tone. “I want you and I know you want me. I also know you’re angry with me for sleeping with you and then ghosting you -”

“I’m not!” Rey protested with deceptive sweetness. “I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. Why would I? A nobody like me had the _great_ Ben Solo as her first lover - how many women can say that, hm? Although, given your sexual prowess, maybe I wasn’t your first virgin - “

She didn’t expect Ben to spring forward, jerking her between his legs, his muscular thighs clamped against her hips, his arms around her shoulders. His eyes were dark with an alarming combination of anger and desire.

“I haven’t signed any papers, Mr. CEO, nor do I intend to. Our relationship is purely professional.” She forced herself to stand still in his embrace, her hazel eyes flashing.

“Is that so?”

She nodded, lifting her chin defiantly.

“Are you saying you don’t want me?”

“Once was enough, thank you.”

His lips thinned, his pale complexion darkening dramatically at her challenge. “Oh, really?”

“Don’t even think about it, Mr. CEO! I work in legal, remember? I can sue you for millions or have you charged!” Her quivering voice took out the brunt of her threat.

“For what? I have yet to do anything to you,” 

“Damn you, stop it!” She choked out, glancing away from his teasing eyes and smirking face. _The fucker was messing with her, not even taking her feelings seriously!_

His grip on her shoulders eased slightly, and when he spoke, his voice was rough with confusion. “If I could stop this, believe me, I would!” Threading his fingers through her hair, he cupped her face between his hands and forced her to look at him. “After you left Lake Takodana, I kept thinking about you, sweetheart. You have no idea how many times I wanted to contact you - how hard it was for me to not to see you! All during the meeting at lunch today, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but you. Don’t you understand, sweetheart, I _can’t_ stop it.”

His tender admission shattered Rey’s resistance, subduing and seducing her in a way that no kiss could have. Her eyes welled with tears, her lips parting in quiet acquiescence.

“No other woman has ever affected me like you, sweetheart. I tried, I really did to get you out of my system - “

And just like that the spell was broken! _Oh, the wanker was good...really good._ He’d almost had her believing his lies again.

“You pompous prick!” Rey exploded, pushing away from him and removing herself from his reach. “You almost had me there!”

Ben shook his head in shock. “Sweetheart,”

“Don’t - do not call me that!” Her hands were fists at her sides, her eyes flashing as she glared at him. “Exactly how many female bodies did go through to try to get _me_ out of your system, Mr. CEO?” She was shaking in her fury. “Well, I’m sure your dates with Ms. Tuesday and Ms. Saturday will help you with that!” She waved a hand at his body before stalking towards the door and opening it to find a startled Maz on the other side.

Rey flushed and doggedly resumed her work, relishing the distraction. The remainder of the day flew by, luckily without further incidence as Ben was in meetings the rest of the afternoon. At five o’clock, Rey breathed a sigh of relief, gathering her bag and heading to the elevator. Hearing a beep from her phone, she pulled it out to find a text message from Rose to meet her for happy hour with some friends. She replied in the affirmative. She could only imagine how rough Rose’s day had been. Poor Rose had to work closely with her unrequited love, seeing him every day. Yep, Rey could understand as she now found herself in the same situation...well, for four weeks anyway.

“Hey, there, Rey,” 

Rey looked up, smiling when she saw one of the new interns, Randy, looking down at her. “Hi, Randy. How was your day?” 

They crossed the marble lobby together, and Randy pulled open one of the heavy glass doors for Rey to precede him. The first thing she saw when she stepped into the sunlight was Ben Solo striding quickly toward a sleek black Bentley waiting for him at the curb. Rey pretended not to see him, leaning her head close to Randy so she could hear his story about messing up drink orders.

As Ben slid into the back seat, he glanced toward the building and saw them. His gaze sliced over Randy before settling on Rey.

“All set, Mr. Solo?” Dopheld Mitaka asked as Ben settled back into the luxurious leather.

“Yes, Mitaka.” He turned his head to watch Rey cross the wide intersection with the tall blonde man. With male appreciation, his eyes roamed over her slender frame, lingering on her pert ass encased in the pencil skirt. There was a quiet poise, a pride, in her bearing that lent grace to her movements. Ben realized that everything about Rey appealed to him. In the time he had known her, she had charmed him, infuriated him and sexually excited him. More so than any other woman ever had in all his thirty-four years. She was laughter and sensuality, gentleness and defiance all wrapped up in an extremely alluring package. 

He’d never experienced such lust, such want before until he’d bumped into her at the university a few months ago. Rey had smiled, apologizing for literally running into him - that bright smile showing off her perfect teeth, her eyes sparkling. They’d had lunch that day, dinner the next, and had their first kiss the following night. For weeks, they’d been almost inseparable, texting during the day before meeting for dinner and talking on the phone when their schedules didn’t line up. And during that time, Ben held his need in check, not wanting to scare her off - God, she was so much younger than him. He’d wanted to end things before things between them became too serious...but Lake Takodana happened. And she had been a virgin…

Ben’s conscience pricked him, and he sighed irritably. She was an attractive young woman - if he hadn’t slept with her, some other man would have, he thought rather bitterly. But he had been her first. He could not suppress the feeling of possessiveness that came over him. Ben had let her think that he’d slept with other women since but that was far from the truth. Sure, he’d tried seeing other women, even tried sleeping with a few of them but they had never gone beyond kissing. The beautiful brunette with the sexy British accent and beautiful smile had ruined him for others, it seemed. Not that he would ever tell her, damn it. He would never give another person - especially, a woman - that much power over him, not again. 

Shaking his head before the unwelcome memories came back, he looked out the window at the moving scenery. 

It was insanity to get involved with one of his employees; if he’d known it was going to happen, he wouldn’t have ended things the way he had. Every instinct he possessed warned him that an affair with Rey would complicate his life. Already, she’d gotten under his skin. He should have stuck to his decision to avoid all further contact with her, the decision he’d made when he sent her away from Lake Takodana. He would have stuck to it if he hadn’t seen her at Poe and Finn’s engagement party, looking so fucking sophisticated and sexy in that black jumpsuit.

She had wanted him that night even though she’d denied it. And she’d wanted him today in his office, too. One of the things he was going to teach that lovely, exasperating creature was to accept her own feelings and to admit her desires. He would be her teacher, introduce her to every exquisite sensation the human body was capable of and he would teach her how to please him, too. Then he would fuck her brains out, make her so goddamn sore that she’d have trouble walking for a week. He shifted, his cock stirring into hardness, remembering how hot and tight she’d been that night. She’d been so responsive, so sensitive, so fucking sweet. That night had been incredible and he was selfish enough to want it again. 

Grimly, he wondered if she could handle a purely physical relationship with him. What if she wanted more than he was willing to give? What if she fell apart when it was inevitably over? He did not want to hurt her, damn it! But it was too late to worry about the possible consequences now; he wanted her too badly - and she wanted him. 

***

It wasn’t until after lunch the next day that Rey saw Ben. She’d just returned from eating lunch in the break-room with Rose when Maz informed her that Mr. Solo wanted to see her immediately. Fighting down her nervous tension, Rey smoothed her hair, which was held in three buns down the back of her head, and walked into his office. 

“You wanted to see me?” She said politely.

Ben leaned back in his chair, looking much too big behind the large black desk, and lazily surveyed her. “I love it when you wear your hair like that. It’s unique and beautiful, like you.” His deep voice was seductively low.

“In that case, I’ll start wearing it down.”

“So that’s how you want to play this, hm?” 

“Play what?”

“This little game we started yesterday.”

“I am not playing any game.” Her voice was firm.

“Are you sure of that? Don’t you want the prize?” He was smirking at her.

“Unless it’s an extra 20K at the end of this project, no. I do not want the prize.” But she did. She wanted him, damn it! She wanted Ben Solo for herself. And she despised herself for that same stupid weakness.

“20K, huh?” 

“Poe said 10K but I think, given the circumstances, 20K is reasonable.”

Ben cocked a brow in question.

“This deal with Jakku is very lucrative. 20K is barely a drop in the ocean for the company.” She reasoned.

“Ah, spoken like a smart business woman.”

“Or a poor one.” She said pointedly, hands clasped behind her back. “Was that all, sir? I’d really like to get back to work,” 

Ben observed her nervousness despite her efforts to hide it. He nodded towards the chair in front of his desk. “Sit down. I was just about to review a file I requested. It’s a personnel file on one Kirey Sunshine Erso-Andor. Hmm...very unique and beautiful, indeed. They suit you.”

A flush tinted her delicately high cheekbones. Unable to endure the sweet torment of having him toy with her, Rey said repressively. “I was named by a bunch of hippie parents during their time in a commune.”

Ben looked at her briefly before turning his eyes back to his computer screen, continuing aloud. “Color of eyes, brown.” He regarded her, his chocolate-brown eyes intimate and warm. “I would say brownish green. A man could lose himself in those eyes of yours - they’re gorgeous.”

“I was born with a lazy right eye that required surgery.” She informed him blandly. “I had to wear glasses as a kid. Oh and braces, too.”

“A little girl with a lazy eye, wearing glasses and braces.” He reflected with a slow grin. “I’ll bet you were cute.”

“The other kids didn’t think so. They called me a four-eyed dweeb.”

Ben’s lips twitched as if he knew exactly what she was trying to do. “Kids can be cruel.”

“Yeah, especially to foster kids.” 

“Foster? But you have parents.”

Rey averted her eyes, not wanting to see his pity. “I do but...ah, for two years, they lost custody of me and I was put into the system since there was no next of kin. I bounced around for a while until the courts granted my parents’ custody of me again.”

“How old were you when they took you?”

“Twelve.”

“Rey…” He began in a soft, achingly tender voice that instantly put her on her guard. Why had she even revealed that to him...only a handful of people knew about her time in the foster system.

“Are we done here, sir? I told you that I’m not going to play whatever game this is with you.” She said coolly.

“I’m very sorry I hurt you.” He said evenly. “Believe me, I never intended to do that.”

“There’s no need to keep apologizing.” She replied, carefully getting to her feet. “Let’s just forget the whole thing happened. Besides, I had a thing with Kylo Ren, not you, Mr. CEO. Since Kylo Ren isn’t real...well, let’s just pretend nothing happened.” She spoke with calm finality. 

His eyes were dark, his expression unreadable as he registered her words. 

“Now may I please get back to work? And you have a meeting in ten minutes.”

He nodded before saying casually, “I’m leaving for Paris tonight. Is there anything you’d like? I’ll bring you a present.”

“My aunt’s bracelet.” Rey said flatly.

Ben watched her walk away, a strange, unfamiliar emotion budding deep inside him, a tenderness that made him feel vulnerable. The sight of her pleased him, even dressed in cotton trousers and a plain green blouse, he had felt desire exploding through his system. He knew the soft, supple skin underneath...golden with a sprinkling of freckles across her bare shoulders, the pink of her nipples, the taut belly and pretty pussy. He also remembered the smell of her, a light citrus with a hint of floral. But she was a tender innocent, so bright and naive in her views - and yet she had the courage to openly defy him and the strength to resist him. To resist his charms, to resist his seductive play. He had never put so much effort into a woman in his life...and yet he couldn’t stop. Of course he wanted her body but he felt more for her than mere desire; he genuinely liked her. He admired her courage and her stubbornness, and even her idealism. She was witty and intelligent, warm and bright, friendly and pleasant. She was passionate about going back to school to pursue family law, caring about people in general and...just way too _good_ for him. 

That unnamed and unwanted emotion stirred inside him again, and Ben mentally cast it aside. He wanted her because she was beautiful and unattainable. She was a challenge to him...nothing more.

Rey spent the rest of the week working like a fiend at the office. At home, she alternately thought about Ben and worried about her parents’ dire financial situation. It seemed her mother’s former heavy drinking had taken a toll on her liver and she now required a transplant. Cassian was not a match but Rey was, thank goodness. The hospital was demanding half of the fee before the surgery could move forward. She wondered if she could ask for her bonus before the project was over...but she’d still have to wait after the Jakku deal was done to take her leave.

Sighing, she pushed herself away from her desk, intent on getting some fresh air. Checking the weather app on her phone, she decided on a yellow cotton tee, the long sleeves slightly puffed and dark skinny jeans paired with her comfortable Converses. She and Rose had moved their meal prepping to Saturdays, leaving her Sundays free. She was just grabbing her small crossbody bag and her keys when the doorbell sounded.

Looking through the peephole, she was shocked to see Ben on the other side. She opened the door, her eyes drinking in the sight of the man whose tall frame seemed to fill the doorway. Dressed in an open-collared dark blue shirt and black jeans, Ben looked unbearably handsome. She forced herself to sound composed and only mildly curious. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

He frowned. “Damned if I know.”

Unable to suppress her smile, she said, “The usual excuse is that you happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to drop by.”

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” Ben mocked dryly. “Well, are you going to invite me in?”

“I don’t know, should I?”

His penetrating gaze traveled down the entire length of her body, lifted to her lips and finally her eyes. “I wouldn’t if I were you.”

Breathless from his frankly sensual appraisal, Rey was nevertheless determined to abide by her decision to avoid all personal involvement with him. And judging from the way he had just looked at her, his reason for being here was very, very personal. 

“In that case, I’ll follow your advice. Goodbye, Ben,” she said, starting to close the door. “And thank you for stopping by.”

He accepted her decision with a slight nod, and Rey made herself finish closing the door. She forced herself to walk away on legs that felt like lead, reminding herself at the same time how insane it would be to let him near her. But halfway across the living room she lost the internal battle. Pivoting on her heel, she raced for the door, yanked it open and hurtled straight into Ben’s broad chest. He was lounging with one hand braced high against the door frame, gazing down at her flushed face with a knowing, satisfied grin.

“Hello, Rey. I happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to drop by.”

“What do you want, Ben?” she sighed, her hazel eyes searching his.

“You.”

Resolutely, she started to close the door again but his hand shot out to stop her. “Do you really want me to go?”

“I -” 

His head swooped down, capturing her lips in a kiss of pure possession, as if he was starved for her. Large hands spanned her waist, pulling her into the juncture of his thighs. His mouth was hard, hot, demanding. A hot swell of sensual excitement made her heart beat faster, made her breath come in panting gasps, her entire body quivering. She wanted him. Oh, damn him, how she wanted him! Some curious chemistry in her makeup made her respond to him like a flower to sunlight, twisting, seeking, even though she knew he was no good for her.

His tongue probed slowly into her mouth and her hands moved to the back of his neck, her fingers threading into his soft hair. Pleasure was filling her, pleasure comprised of the taste and feel and smell of him, the slightly rough slide of his cheek against hers, the intimacy of his tongue on hers that vividly recalled a hot summer night when no clothing had been between them. When he took his mouth away, she was too shaken to do anything except stare at him.

“Do you want me to go?” He repeated the question. 

She hated herself for her moment of weakness. Reluctantly she made her decision. “Yes.”

“Oh, really?” 

The sides of his lips quirked up even as he was bending down again, and Rey felt herself being helplessly drawn into his magnetic spell. “Don’t!” she pleaded. “Please don’t do this to me.”

His hands tightened around her. “Why can’t you just admit you want me? Admit you want me and enjoy what comes after.”

“All right,” she said wretchedly. “You win! I want you...I admit it.” She saw the gleam of triumph in his eyes, and her chin lifted proudly. “When I was seven years old, I also wanted a pet turtle.”

The triumph faded. “And?” he sighed irritably, releasing her.

“And unfortunately, I got him.” Rey said. “Chad was a snapping turtle and bit my finger.”

Ben looked as if he was torn between laughter and anger. “I imagine he bit you for naming him Chad.”

Rey ignored his mockery. “And when I was eight, I wanted siblings. My parents obliged me by joining a cult, so I can have ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’.”

“What the hell does that have to do with us?”

“Everything!” She raised her hands in a gesture of appeal, then dropped them in defeat. “I’m trying to explain that I want you but that I’m not going to let you hurt me again.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“Oh, yes, you will!” she said, fiercely fighting back tears. “You won’t mean to but you will. You already have. When you were done with me in Takodana, two days later - you were frolicking in the sun with an Instagram model. Do you know what I was doing while you were there?”

Ben shoved his hands in his pockets, his expression guarded. “No. What were you doing?”

“I,” Rey said on a note of hysterical, choking laughter. “Was sitting at home, trying to find out if you’d gotten hurt somewhere because I couldn’t reach you at all!” She looked at him, her eyes pleading with him to understand. “If we sleep together again, you won’t be emotionally involved, but I will. I can’t detach my emotions from my body, hop into bed and have a wonderful time, and then forget about it. I’d want you to care, and I’d care. I’d be jealous if I thought you were with another woman. And if I _knew_ you were, I’d be hurt.”

If he had mocked her or tried to persuade her, she would have burst into tears. But he did neither, simply looking at her, his dark eyes enigmatic.

Dropping his gaze, she turned towards her small kitchen. “Do you want some coffee?” She needed to busy her hands, to do anything else besides throwing herself into his arms. As she got the percolator going, she reached for some mugs. When she straightened, she knew he was standing right behind her and had no choice but to turn around and face him.

“Have you missed me?” He asked.

“What do you think?” She evaded smoothly.

“Good. How much?”

“Is your ego in need of a boost today?” She countered lightly.

“Yep.”

“Really, why?”

“Because I keep getting shot down by a beautiful woman ten years my junior, and I can’t seem to get her out of my mind.”

Rey made a noncommittal sound, repressing the hope that had blossomed at his words. 

“She’s also infuriating, talented, funny, brave and…” His hands were gliding up her arms now, drawing her within a few inches of his chest. “...I like her.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone, thank you for reading. I knew exactly where the story was headed...hope you all like it. FYI, I'm not a lawyer so forgive the jargon, I have no idea how lawyers talk or write up contracts. Kudos and comments are appreciated. Thank you!

**Chapter Five**

“Um, thanks, I think.”

Ben chuckled, the noise sending a delicious shiver down her spine. His mouth was making a deliberately slow descent, and Rey waited helplessly for the physical impact of his lips on hers. Instead, he bypassed her mouth and began to explore the golden skin of her throat, his warm mouth nuzzling the sensitive area, then slowly wandering upward along her neck toward her ear. She was a mass of quivering sensations. His mouth left a burning trail of kisses up to her temple, then slowly inched toward her lips. 

“I like you, Rey.” He breathed against her lips before sliding to leisurely kiss her cheek. He said the words again against her ear before using his tongue to trace every curve and hollow. He nipped her earlobe, and Rey lurched forward in a startled movement that jolted their bodies together.

Rey shuddered convulsively as liquid heat flooded her and twined her arms around his shoulders, trembling with a need that she couldn’t deny.

“Ben, please,” Rey whispered weakly.

“Please what?” he murmured against her throat. “Please put us out of our misery?”

“No!”

“No?” he repeated silkily, raising his head. “You don’t want me to kiss you, and get you naked, lick you and suck you all over...don’t you want me to _fuck_ you?”

Rey flinched at his crude words, lifting her eyes to his. His alabaster face was dark with passion, and demand was blazing in his brown eyes. She remembered the last time she had looked into those insistent eyes and had yielded to his fiery passion. Memories flooded her mind in chilling sequence; he had _fucked_ her in Lake Takodana, had kissed her and caressed her as if she were the only woman for him, and then he had coolly sent her home. He’d reduced her to a hump and dump, a slam and scram, a wam bam, thank you ma’am! While she could not detach emotions from his lovemak - no, his fucking, he’d obviously had no trouble. He had used her body purely for sheer physical pleasure - without feeling the slightest emotion for her. How many women before her - and after - had fallen into his trap, she wondered bitterly. Ben Solo was nothing but a user of women, the epitome of a modern manwhore - fucking any woman he wanted. 

He claimed to like her but she’d had her heart broken once by this man. Did she dare risk it again? Her woman’s intuition told her that he felt more for her than just desire, but then she’d also foolishly believed she had been making love with Kylo Ren, too. This time she _had_ to be certain. Her pride would not permit her to let him use her again. Not on his terms anyway.

“Ben,” she said nervously. “I think it would be best if we go slowly.”

“Of course I’ll go slow, sweetheart.” His grin was downright lascivious.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I want us to abstain from the physical..get to know each other first,”

“We already know each other,” he reminded her. “Intimately.”

“But I mean...before we start anything.”

“We knew each other before, Rey, don’t you remember? Besides I want to finish this. So do you.” He said with a hint of impatience in his voice.

“No, I -” She gasped as his hands cupped the small swell of her breasts and his thumbs began circling the hardened buds of her nipples.

“I can feel how badly you want me, Rey,” he told her. His hands reached down to grab her asscheeks, holding her tightly against his swollen cock. “And you can feel how much I want you. Now, what else do we need to know about each other, hm? What else matters?”

“What else matters?” Rey hissed, pulling free of his arms. “How can you ask me that? I told you I can’t handle being your fuck buddy. What are you trying to do to me - what are you trying to turn me into?”

Ben’s jaw tightened. “I’m trying to relieve the ache that’s been building inside us, sweetheart. I want to make love -”

“Don’t call it ‘love’, Ben! Just call it for what it is, hm! You want to _fuck_ me! You want to put your dick inside me! You want to feel my pussy clench around your cock! You want to pour your load into my wet, tight pussy!” God but she hated the vulgar terms. 

“Oh, baby, I love it when you talk dirty,” He was breathing harshly, his nostrils flaring with want - with need.

Rey held a hand out in front of her, preventing him from reaching for her. “Not yet, Ben! I want to know the rules, damn it! Today we... _fuck_ , but tomorrow we’re back to being just boss and employee again? Tomorrow you can sleep with another woman if you want to, and I’m not supposed to care - right? And tomorrow I can sleep with another man, and you won’t care - is _that_ right?” She demanded hotly.

“Yes.”

Rey had her answer - he didn’t care about her any more now than he had before. He merely wanted her more...so much so that he’d even lied about liking her. It was the oldest trick in the player handbook and she’d almost fallen for it, for him, again. Emotionally exhausted and depleted, she said, “Coffee’s ready,”

“ _I’m_ ready,” he said crudely.

“Well, I’m not!” Rey retorted. “I’m not ready to be your out-of-the-office fuck buddy. If you’re bored, go back to Ms. Tuesday or Ms. Saturday or your Instagram model. Just go to anyone else but me, Ben!”

“What the hell do you want from me?” he demanded coldly.

_I want you to love me._

“I don’t want anything from you,” she said. “Just leave me alone, Ben.”

Ben’s eyes raked over her in contempt. “You’re twenty-three, aren't you? Why are you so goddamn prudish for a millennial? Get off your moral high-horse, Rey!”

Rey felt as if he had slapped her. Infuriated beyond reason, she struck back at his ego. “You’re absolutely right!” she blazed. “That’s what I should do. Beginning today, I’m going to fuck any man - or woman that appeals to me! Is that what you want to hear? I will act like my peers and fuck around. I will start now but not with you - never again with you, Ben! Now, please get out!” 

Ben pulled a small square box from his pocket and slapped it onto the kitchen table. “I owe you a bracelet,” he said, already striding towards the door.

Rey heard the front door slam behind him, and with trembling fingers she picked up the little box and opened it. She expected to find her aunt’s simple gold bangle, but instead there was a dainty platinum bracelet with dangling diamond charms. It was more beautiful and more expensive than the one she’d inherited from her sweet aunt Mara. Rey snapped the box shut, hoping to do the same with her heart.

  
  


When Rey arrived at Maz’s office the next morning, she was delighted to find a mug of vanilla latte with extra foam at her desk. She and Maz had developed an easy friendship because, really, Maz was a doll and Rey got along with most everyone...as long as that person was not a six-foot-four giant with porcelain skin, dark brown eyes and dark hair.

“Is Mr. CEO busy?” Rey asked, after thanking the older woman for her morning caffeine fix.

“Always, but go on in now before things get more hectic,” Maz said gently.

Rey tapped on Ben’s door and, with an outward calm she didn't feel, walked into his office. She waited a full two minutes for him to acknowledge her, but nope, he continued typing, ignoring her presence. With an irritated shrug, she finally went over to his desk and held out the square jewelry box towards him.

“This is not my aunt’s bracelet, and I don’t want it,” She told his taut profile. “My aunt’s bracelet was a simple bangle, not platinum with diamonds. They weren’t worth a fraction of this but they were sentimental. They mean something to me, and I want them back. Are you capable of understanding that?”

“Perfectly capable,” he replied icily, without looking up. He reached out and buzzed for Maz to come in. “However, yours is lost. Since I couldn’t get them back for you, I gave you something that has sentimental value to me. That bracelet was the first gift my grandfather ever gave my grandmother.”

 _Well, fuck._ Why had he given it to her...surely, he understood the significance, the meaning behind his gesture. Or maybe, he gave all of his women sentimental jewelry. Or was lying and the bracelet had, in fact, come from some store last week...yep, that was it. She said quietly, “I still can’t accept them.”

“Then leave them there.” He nodded curtly toward the corner of his desk.

Rey put the box down and went back to her desk. She really hated - absolutely hated that he could so easily disrupt her well thought-out plans. The man just had a knack for getting under her skin. After what happened yesterday at her flat, she’d been ready to shut him out. She was ready to let go of her feelings for him. She was a sensible woman, not to mention intelligent and independent...she would get over him. Millions of people got over their first heartbreak and most came out stronger than when they’d started. She was going to be one of those people, damn it! In three weeks, she was going to have an extra 20K in her bank account, all of which was going towards her mother’s surgery, and be back at her old job again. Forty floors will separate them and as they did not mingle in the same circle - aside from Poe and Finn - Rey did not expect to see him much after this Jakku project was over.

“How are you holding up, sweetie?” Rose asked later that day. The two women were sharing a pizza and pitcher of beer at a hole in the wall near Rey’s flat.

“I think I’m doing okay, Rose. But, really, I don’t know how you do it, seeing the man you love every day, knowing he doesn’t love you back,” Rey stared blankly at the wall behind Rose’s head.

“Well, actually...Rey, I have some news!” Rose pulled out her left hand, waving it excitedly in front of Rey’s face.

It took a moment for Rey to see the sparkling diamond engagement ring on Rose’s ring finger. When she did, Rey grabbed her friend’s hand and squealed. “Rose - what the hell? When did this happen? And why didn’t you tell me?” Rey asked, after hugging the daylights out of her friend.

“Well...you see…” Rose’s eyes looked down, her cheeks flush with guilt. “I have not been completely honest with you. I didn’t want to burden you since you had your own heartbreak and everything but…”

Rey listened intently as Rose told her story. Apparently, the Monday after Finn and Poe’s party, Hux had offered her a ride home after her car had broken down. Rose had invited Hux in and one thing led to another and they’d slept together that night and every night since. Rose was practically living in his apartment now. “I told him we can just be fuck buddies, you know - because I’m a coward and didn’t want him to know my true feelings. Well, he just laughed in my face and told me he loved me and now that he had me, he wasn’t ever going to let me go.” Rose’s eyes took on a dreamy look as she recalled the night he’d proposed with the ring he’d bought the same week he’d met Rose. 

“Of course, this would happen to you, Rose. Only you can have a romantic trope be your own love story.” Rey rolled her eyes teasingly.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you, especially during our weekly Saturdays but I couldn’t yet. I hope you understand, hon,” Rose closed a gentle hand over Rey’s.

“Don’t worry about it, Rose. Just have me as a bridesmaid and I’ll consider us even,” 

“Well, that’s a given, Rey! I’m thinking just three in my bridal party, Paige, you and Finn, of course!” 

Rey smiled, nodded along as Rose spoke about their tentative wedding plans. When Rose was finished, Rey asked her bluntly, “How would you have gone about it, Rose? You know, be fuck buddies with the man you love?”

Rose considered her question for a few minutes. “Hmm...well, by not kissing on the lips and fucking him doggy-style, I guess. I mean, I had friends with benefits in college so I kind of knew what I would be getting into.” Rose smiled then. “Luckily, it never came to that with Armie,”

“Yep, that’s good…”

“Come on, Rey, spit it out. Why are you asking me about fuck buddies...that’s not like you at all.” Nothing ever got past the observant woman.

“Well, you see. Kylo - Ben propositioned me with an unemotional, purely physical affair.”

“You’re fucking kidding me?!” Rose felt anger for her friend. “The nerve of that prick! You told him to fuck off, right?”

Rey nodded. “Well, yes but - ah, he is extremely persistent.”

“Oh, geez, Rey, are you seriously considering it? After everything he put you through?” Rose shook her head in concern, remembering Rey’s pain and sorrow.

“The sex was phenomenal, Rose,” Rey confessed, blushing slightly. “I might not have anything to compare it to but damn was it good! I still think about it, that night…”

“Rey, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is a natural thing.” 

“I know that, Rose. I - I think I want it again. Sex with Ben, I mean,”

Rose sighed, frowning slightly as she watched Rey. Poor, sweet Rey who was always looking out for other people - her parents, for one - and always putting herself last. Responsible, reliable Rey needed an outlet, an escape from her life of obligations and debt. “Why the hell not, Rey? You want him, you have him but on your terms.”

“Really, Rose? You don’t think I’m weak for - for wanting him?”

Rose shook her head. “Of course not, Rey. You can’t always control what your body wants. But I do think you should prepare yourself.”

“How?”

Rose pulled out a pen and grabbed a clean napkin. She quickly wrote something on the top, ‘Fuck Buddy Rules’. “Draw up a contract, Ms. Paralegal.”

Rey nodded, smiling at her friend’s clever plan. They had to order another pizza and pitcher before they’d finally compiled the list of requirements. Together they had come up with a sound set of rules and if Ben didn’t adhere to every single one, then he’d have to stop pursuing her.

“Let’s go over this list again,” Rose munched on a pizza crust, her eyes very alert despite the amount of beer they’d drank.

“Rule number one: both parties are to get tested and/or provide documentation to prove the other party is clean of STDs.” Rose had come up with that, distrusting the manwhore. Rey didn’t blame her.

“Rule number two: no kissing on the mouth. Addendum: mouths can be used for kissing other parts of the body but no mouth-to-mouth contact.” Rey had insisted on this, remembering how much Ben’s experienced kisses affected her. Rose had agreed, saying kissing was somehow more intimate than fucking.

“Rule number three: no missionary position. Addendum: Ben cannot be on top facing Rey nor can Rey be on top facing Ben.” They both agreed that eye contact during the act, especially during orgasm was too intimate. Rey had blushed, wondering what other positions there were. Rose then promptly informed her of the Kamasutra. “I’m sure Ben knows a few positions besides missionary, Rey,” she’d added with a smirk.

“Rule number four: no cuddling after sex. Addendum: there is an allotted time of fifteen seconds from the end of the act to disentanglement of bodies.” Rose and Rey had debated on whether to put in an exact time but Rey had insisted and Rose had finally agreed. The last thing Rey wanted was to be comforted by Ben’s warm body. No, it was better this way. Lovers cuddled, fuck buddies _fucked_.

“Rule number five: no sex at Rey’s flat.” Rey’s little flat was her sanctuary and she didn’t want Ben tarnishing it, even in memory.

“Rule number six: never refer to the act as lovemaking or making love.” Both women agreed on this. 

“Rule number seven: this is an exclusive arrangement. Should one party want to sleep with another person not in the contract, said party must inform the other party.” Rey did not even want to think about the time when this will inevitably happen. Ben was a man with an enormous sexual appetite and Rey doubted she could hold his attention for more than a few weeks - days, really.

“Rule number eight: said contract can be broken at any time, by either party with no reason given.” This had been a hard one but Rey knew that clean break was best and this was the easy way out.

“Okay, sweetie. I think this is a sound plan. You’re an adult and you know what you want. And for some reason, it’s the CEO.”

“Yep. I can do this.”

“Purely for your orgasms, Rey,” Rose reminded her, clinking their mugs together.

Rey rolled her eyes, snorting. “Yes, for my orgasms.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys...the rating just changed to Explicit. I did not intend this but...the smut kind of wrote itself. Please be gentle as I am still grasping how to write smut. As always, I love hearing from you so leave a comment. Nothing but smut and feelings in this chapter. Enjoy!

**Chapter Six**

Rey had no trouble locating the elegant residential building of Alderaan Towers in downtown Chandrila. The building was within walking distance of luxury retail stores, restaurants and nightlife in the city, thus was easily accessible by bus. It was not too far from the office so it was just after five-thirty when she arrived. She stood in the fancy lobby at the reception desk as she waited to be buzzed into the penthouse, feeling overwhelmingly out-of-place. Of course, Ben Solo lived in the fucking penthouse in the much sought-after high-rise. Rey knew he was wealthy - being the CEO of a very successful company, but she hadn’t realized the extent until it smacked her in the face. Poe had mentioned that the Skywalker-Solo family was old money, coming from an affluent line of politicians, business owners and even royalty. Ben’s grandmother had been a princess from some small but illustrious country in East Europe making him an actual fucking Prince! In lineage, perhaps but definitely not in temperament. 

“Your name is on the approved list of guests, Ms. Erso-Andor. The butler will see you up to the penthouse.” The receptionist interrupted her thoughts in a polite yet friendly voice.

“Thank you,” Rey murmured.

“Welcome, Miss Rey. Mr. Solo is expecting you,” The largest, hairiest man she’d ever seen was looking down at her, his eyes soft and a smile on his world-weary face.

“Ah, yes.” 

Rey followed the butler - Charles though he preferred Chewie - down towards the bank of elevators and into the private one at the end. They stood in comfortable silence as the elevator climbed the fifty-nine flights up to the penthouse residence that occupied the entire sixtieth floor. The doors opened into a gleaming white marble foyer that made Rey’s jaw drop at its opulence. Past the grand foyer, a marble staircase with a custom-made wrought-iron banister spilled into a two-story receiving hall highlighted by a dazzling Murano glass chandelier. Floor-to-ceiling windows provided panoramic views of the city’s skyline as well as Lake Chandrila. As she followed Chewie into the spacious chef’s kitchen, she noticed a rooftop terrace with its own lounge area, multiple dining spaces and even a swimming pool. It was all very lovely but Rey couldn’t help thinking that it was too much space for one person.

“Hello, Rey.” The deep, husky voice drew her attention to the sitting area in front of a modern fireplace where he stood holding a crystal glass in his large hand. He’d changed out of his suit and into dark jeans and a black henley. His ebony hair hung low almost to his shoulders, the locks luscious and so soft-looking that Rey had to stop herself from running her fingers through them. Later, she told herself, later she was going to pull and tug at them to her satisfaction.

“That will be all for tonight, Chewie. Thank you,” Ben dismissed the man with a curt nod.

Why did he have to be so hot, she lamented, her hazel eyes moving over the broad width of his strong shoulders and down the long, powerful legs in female appreciation. Her body tightened automatically, remembering what was between those legs....the sole reason she was even here. 

Ever since she’d placed the piece of paper containing the contract on his desk Monday morning, she’d been a bundle of nerves. He had agreed to the contract immediately, but it had taken three days for the proper medical documents to come through to satisfy the all important rule number one. During the wait, Rey had taken Rose’s advice, doing some research of her own. Research that mainly consisted of watching Pretty Woman, No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits and other movies in the fuck buddy genre to distract herself. Of course, she had always stopped the movie before the predictable happy ending. Things might have ended happily for Rose, but Rey was rational enough to know her story was going to be very different. There will be no happy ending for Rey Erso-Andor. He might want her body but he did not want _her_. Ben Solo was going to end up with _a_ _somebody_ \- a sophisticated, experienced, cultured woman from his own social class, not a _nobody_ like her.

Rey mentally shook herself, not wanting to dwell on _those_ kinds of thoughts. This was for her orgasms, for her release...for _her_ , damn it! She was going to use his body purely for her own pleasure, uncaring if he derived any in the process. Knowing his reputation, Rey was certain the manwhore was going to love their arrangement. No emotions, no strings - just consensual sex. Exactly what he’d wanted from her since the beginning. 

“Hello, sir,” Rey refused to say his name after hours. 

“Would you like a drink?” Ben asked softly, his eyes unreadable.

She walked closer to him, her movements slow and instinctively seductive. “No, sir. Where do we do this?” Rey felt as though she was having an out-of-body experience. Her voice sounded distant, cool yet impassioned and very unlike her own. Tonight, she was not Kylo Ren’s lover...no...she was Ben Solo’s sex partner. 

A dark brow lifted slightly at her words and his plush lips thinned marginally. Then he was turning and walking into the receiving hall and up the marble staircase. Rey held onto her backpack, trying not to resemble a mouse scurrying after a piece of cheese, as she followed him into a large suite with a wall of windows, plush dark carpeting and sparse furnishings. There was a big king-size bed set back against a black headboard, flanked on either side by chrome sconces and luxurious black silk sheets. Without a doubt, this was his bedroom - black, chrome and dark, his preferred aesthetic.

“Sir,” Rey would make the first move to prove she was in control here, of this, of him.

Ben didn’t say a word, placing his glass at the bedside table before undressing. When he was down to just his boxers, he settled himself in the middle of the bed and somehow still managed to look _huge_ in the massive bed. His gaze was hot on her but his face remained passive.

Rey knew exactly what he was doing. The prick was trying to unnerve her, probably to show her that, even though he’d agreed to _her_ terms, he did not want to give up total control. Little did he know that she’d also prepared for this. Inhaling deeply, she reached into her bag for prophylaxis - Magnum XL and ribbed for her pleasure, of course.

She walked towards him, discarding her clothes along the way. Oddly, her nervousness had abated with every second that passed. She can definitely do this - do _him_ without emotional attachment. 

His dark eyes followed her gracefully erotic movements, but his expression still did not give any indication as to what he was thinking. For once, Rey didn’t care nor was she intimidated by him. He’d wanted this arrangement, reducing their relationship into a sleazy affair. She was numb to her feelings for him, her battered heart only able to take so much. She’d come today with a cool detachment, unemotional involvement. She was here purely for her own primal, basic physical needs...no more...no less.

She climbed onto the bed beside him, her eyes avoiding his. As she drew closer, she could hear his heavy breathing, she could see his nostrils flaring, she could see the high color on his pale cheeks...ah, so he wasn’t so unaffected now, was he? Her hazel eyes were hot as they leisurely perused his beautiful body - muscled, powerful, smooth and all hers to do with as she pleased.

“Sir?” she purred against his ear, her hot breath fanning his cheek. She felt empowered, seeing him shudder at her small act. Oh, but she was going to have so much fun with him.

“Anything you want, baby girl,” he said roughly, his voice shaking with the force of his desire.

Rey couldn’t help the slow, wicked grin that came over her flushed face. The unsteadiness of his words reassured her, gave her the courage to reach out and put her hand on his smooth chest, feeling the sinewy muscle against her palm and the sleek warmth of his skin. She was amazed at how tiny her palm looked on his body, reminding her just how _small_ she was compared to him. In reverence, her hands caressed his warm skin, stopping at the taut, tiny buds of his nipples to run her nails over them softly. The sound that rumbled in his throat could have been a growl, but her heightened senses recognized it for what it was - a rough hum of pleasure.

She leaned closer, seeking the intoxicating male scent of him. “Anything?” Her voice shook slightly in anticipation. Her mouth found the throbbing pulse at the base of his strong throat, her lips feeling the frantic rhythm and increasing it with her touch. 

“Even if it kills me, baby girl,” His voice was thick with passion.

Rey relished the liquid heat that flooded her pussy, trembling with a need that she couldn’t deny. This was probably a mistake - oh, it most definitely was - but for now, she wanted to drown herself in primal, carnal ecstasy. 

She pressed open-mouth kisses on his throat, sucking a path to his shoulders even as her hands played with his nipples, rubbing them lightly. Reaching his chest, she bit him delicately on his pectoral, felt him shiver and did it again. Her hands marveled at his washboard stomach - a fucking eight-pack! - before sliding down to play at the waistband of his boxers. Glancing down, she saw his hard cock straining against the cotton fabric. Humming softly, she laved and licked his nipples, loving the taste of him, salty and musky and male. Her head slid down his stomach, her hands guiding a path to his cock.

“Fuck! - Oh -” He fairly leaped off the bed at the first touch of her mouth, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes closed and his head tossed back against the heavy headboard. Her touch was tentative at first, the experience a new one for her so she was just a little bit awkward and damn if he didn’t think she was the sexiest thing in the world! When she drew him into her mouth, her tongue lapping the underside, he gave an inarticulate shout of hunger. When her mouth tightened around him and began to suck, he gave a low growl of need.

“Baby girl - can I - I need -” He panted as her hand started stroking the base of his cock in tandem with the movements of her lips. “Fuck! I need to touch you - !”

Rey let go of him, satisfied that he was adequately hard enough for her. She wondered how he would taste in her mouth...remember, he’s here to get _you_ off, her brain reminded her. Shutting her eyes, she allowed him to stretch her out on the bed, knowing that he was looking at every inch of her exposed body. She felt no embarrassment, no urge to cover herself - not after hearing his pleased grunts against her ear. Her breasts throbbed, and she arched upwards, her hands sliding into the silky hair at the nape of his neck as she sought his touch. He responded immediately, his hands sliding up to cup and fondle her perfectly small yet sensitive breasts. His mouth slid down her body, licking and sucking along the way, leaving her taut with desire. His tongue snaked out to capture an erect nipple, drawing it into the searing moistness of his mouth. Rey gave a strangled cry at the pure fire that leaped along her nerves. Then she arched herself into his powerful body, her hands clenching on his broad shoulders.

He reached down to her ankles, caressing his hand up over her slim calves, between her trembling thighs until his hand was right at her slick folds. “You’re so wet, baby girl,” he slid his tongue to the valley between her breasts before pulling her other nipple into his mouth, sucking it hard.

Rey tossed her head on the pillow, her fingernails digging into his flesh as he dipped first one finger, and then another into her dripping pussy. She was burning, aching, ready for him. She moaned, lifting her hips for more of his touch. “More, sir, more,” Thank God, she remembered not to call him by his name even though she was stir-crazy with need.

Ben hummed in answer, pushing himself swiftly down her body. His hot mouth completely covered her core, his tongue licking, his teeth biting lightly at her clitoris. His fingers continued to pump into her, bringing her to a sudden, blinding climax.

Rey’s body bowed, her head arched as electric pleasure rippled through her and she gave a faint, gasping cry. This was wilder, hotter than that night at Lake Takodana - and he hadn’t even put his dick inside her yet. She felt another kiss on her pussy before she was turned over onto her belly. Rey immediately moved to her knees and propped herself up on her elbows. Rule number three: no missionary position. 

“Condom,” she managed to say.

A grunt and sound of the package opening cut through their heavy breathing. Then he was behind her, his heavy thighs parting hers as he guided his rigid cock to her, leaning over and into her as he tightened his asscheeks and increased the pressure against her wet opening, forcing it to widen and admit him. 

Rey hissed, her breath quickening as the pressure bordered slightly on pain - oh, but he was big! - and then it was gone, replaced by a jolt of sensation that made her cry out in pleasure. He rocked against her ass, forcing himself deeper with each measured thrust. Her fists knotted the sheets beneath her, wanting him to lose control, like she helplessly was. Instinctively, she pushed back against him, her slick pussy opening to take his full length inside her. She heard a guttural, explosive sound erupt from his chest and then she heard nothing but the roaring in her ears. He rode her hard, thrusting heavily, his hips hammering and recoiling as he sought release. He wasn’t gentle, not with his head and heart reeling, his entire body exploding with savage pleasure. She was hot and tight, silky and wet.

He was rough and wild, unrelenting in his thrusts as he pushed her further with each hard recoil of his hips until she was panting and desperate, sobbing as she arched back against him. And then he forced her over the edge, and Rey screamed as her senses shattered. She shuddered and bucked, trying to meld into his flesh, devastated by the paroxysm of pleasure. Dazedly, she felt him thrust three more times before his body stiffened and convulsed as he orgasmed with a low growl. Then he slowly collapsed, shaking in every muscle, blindly groping for support. His heavy weight settled over her, pressing her into the mattress.

Rey lay beneath him, feeling spent but able to hold onto one coherent thought. Rule number four: no cuddling after sex.

“One elephant, two elephant, three elephant…” Rey breathed.

Ben surfaced slowly from the depths of pure physical sensation, his mind sluggishly beginning to function once more. The power of what he had experienced left him shaken. Never had he felt such intense sexual satisfaction though his previous experience with Rey had come very very close but this - tonight - it was another level. He had lost control, something that had never happened before. With his previous partners, he’d always been gentle, attentive and even playful in the bedroom. Yet with Rey, both times now, he’d been intent on his own pleasure, on the conquest and possession of her silky flesh. Sure, he had gotten her off with his mouth - something he planned on repeating because, damn she’d tasted so sweet and delicious - but the minute his dick was inside her, he became a savage...an untamed animal bent on wrecking her. 

He did not want to move, relishing the hot, tight clasp of her body as he remained firmly inside her, satisfied but not yet sated. Another anomaly for him as he rarely slept with the same woman more than a handful of times and never did he want to repeat the act immediately after...like he did so, now.

“...ten elephant,” He heard her low murmurs, moving slightly up and to the side to decipher her words. “...eleven elephant,” The sluggishness vanished from his brain and reality settled in with ruthless clarity. The Fuck Buddy Rules. Abruptly, he forced himself off of her and rolled onto his back putting several inches between them.

“Restroom?”

“Through the door,” He waved to the right side of the room, waiting until he heard the soft click before reaching down to remove the condom and wrapping it in a tissue to be tossed out later.

_Well, fuck._

Ben stared up at the ceiling, frowning. He should be content, triumphant, basking in the glow of mind-blowing sex with the woman he’d wanted for months but he found that he was not. He was confused and felt oddly...ashamed. The Fuck Buddy Rules...the goddamn contract. That fucking contract was everything he’d wanted from her. Enjoyable sex without the complications of _feelings_. And that was what they’d just had...casual, indiscriminate sex. The most incredible, fantastic sex of his life but it was still just sex, noncommittal sex. It was everything Ben had ever wanted and yet...he was not content.

Sex had always been a controlled but extremely important part of his life. But after Rey - after Lake Takodana, he’d suddenly found himself unresponsive to the temptations cast his way. The social life he had enjoyed before seemed simultaneously too frantic and too boring as did the women. The socialites and models were now vapid and insipid and he no longer craved the controlled pleasure he’d known with them, his mind staying remote from his body, detached emotionally. Well, he hadn’t been remote tonight with Rey, and he hadn’t been controlled, either. 

He closed his eyes, seeing the moment Rey had walked towards him, discarding her clothing piece by piece, solidifying his memory of her body. To his numb surprise, his memory of her had fallen short. He’d seen her naked before, but reality was so much more - so much better than his memory. Her breasts, though small, were firm and round, delightfully upright, the nipples small and a delectable shade of dark pink. Her body curved in a slender waist, then flared again to gently rounded hips before tapering to long slim legs...and her ass was deliciously pert. And her skin, golden with a sprinkling of freckles, glowed with health and vitality. He had wanted to pounce on her the moment she’d walked into his apartment but he’d wanted her to feel comfortable. It had taken some willpower for him to lie there on the bed while she’d touched him. He had wanted to be a considerate lover, damn it and he’d succeeded, too...until he’d put his dick in her. He was controlled and intelligent and not a cruel man, before...before Rey. Where Rey was concerned, though, his control went right out the window. His mouth took on a grim line as he remembered the wild rush of passion, the primitive instinct to make her his, that had blotted out all reason. Hell, he’d almost forgotten about a condom - something that had never ever happened before - until she had reminded him. And therein, was the reason for his current state of shamed confusion. While Rey had managed to keep herself in check, he’d been almost mindless with need, with desire for her. He was the more experienced one, damn it! He was supposed to be the sophisticated lover, the one who kept a cool head, the one who could keep his mind remote from his body!

“I had fun tonight.” 

Ben was startled out of his thoughts by her softly-spoken words. He unconsciously pulled the sheet over his nude body, sitting up to find her fully dressed, her yellow backpack slung over one shoulder, a tiny smile on her face. She looked confident and self-assured. The image made Ben’s chest tighten as icy regret and disappointment echoed through him. This was not the sweetly shy, uncertain girl he had met at the University - the one he’d lied to and taken to bed on false pretenses...that Rey was gone. She had been replaced by the uninhibited yet coolly detached woman standing in front of him. 

“Me too.”

“I know.” 

“Same time tomorrow?” he asked hesitantly.

“You have a dinner party with your parents, sir,” she reminded him.

“Saturday?”

“I am free between four and six. Does that work for you, sir?”

Ben could only nod in agreement, already feeling his cock stir in arousal. 

“That’s good.” Rey leaned towards him, placing her lips against his ear. “Thank you for the wonderful fuck, sir. Until Saturday,” She nipped him lightly on his earlobe before straightening and strolling out of the bedroom door, humming under her breath.

Ben watched her leave, his dark eyes troubled as he wondered if this was what it felt like to be used and discarded...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell me, what do you guys think? Your comments and kudos keep me going and are very much appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, thanks for the wonderful response to the previous chapter. As always, I love hearing from you. This chapter is shorter but, boy, did I almost cry a few times writing it. Please let me know your thoughts! Happy reading!

**Chapter Seven**

Rose invited Rey and a few of their friends over to the townhouse she now shared with her fiance, Hux, the following Saturday. As Rey had lost her meal prepping buddy, she’d at least gained a new friend in Hux, who really wasn’t all that bad outside of work. The British ginger was actually quite funny with a dry wit but there was also a warmth to him. It was also painfully obvious how much he adored Rose, unafraid to be openly affectionate in and out of the office. That alone made him okay in Rey’s eyes.

“You are fucking glowing, Rey. New moisturizer? Face mask? Weekly facials?” Finn pulled her aside into a secluded corner of the living room to interrogate her. “Come on, spill. The wedding is in a few months and I need to update my skin care regimen.”

Rey rolled her eyes, wondering just how much smoother he wanted his skin to be. The guy already had a perfect complexion, his caramel skin free of blemishes and blessed with small pores. “Oh, please, Finn. I should be getting advice from you and Poe. How’s the planning going, by the way? You haven’t gone into groomzilla mode yet and I’m worried...really worried.” She deadpanned.

Finn didn’t notice her evasiveness, launching into great detail about the choreographed number he and Poe were rehearsing for their first dance. Then he went on to complain about how the flowers they’d ordered were unavailable for the season so now they had to change their entire decor, and that led into a long list of worries about the catering and venue. Rey sipped her sparkling cider, listening attentively to her friend and offering words of support and sympathy every now and then.

“Frankly, I cannot wait until the wedding is over...I just want to be married to the man!” 

Rey snorted. “You could’ve just eloped, Finn,”

Finn rolled his eyes, groaning dramatically. “You do know who I am marrying, right, peanut? The hotshot lawyer from a prominent family...and an attention whore, to boot!”

“Did someone mention an attention whore?” As if on cue, Poe appeared, planting a kiss on Finn’s lips before pulling Rey into a warm hug.

Rey suppressed a tiny tinge of jealousy, watching the two lovers tease each other. They looked so happy, so in love. Glancing across the room, she saw Hux with his arm around Rose’s waist, deep in conversation with Phasma whose fingers were entwined with Tallie Lintra, a decorated Airforce pilot. She’d almost felt like a seventh wheel until she saw that Rose had also invited Kaydel, Randy the intern, a blond man named Matt and Rose’s sister, Paige. Thankfully, she was not the only singleton here...although, there did seem to be some flirting between Kaydel and Matt, and Randy and Paige. 

Conversation and drinks flowed nicely and soon the group were seated at the long dining table, a sumptuous spread before them. Rose and Hux had really outdone themselves, offering up perfectly cooked prime rib served with a horseradish sauce and various side dishes, everything homemade. The beautifully puffed, golden brown and crispy Yorkshire pudding reminded Rey of home and catching Hux’s eye from across the table, she nodded approvingly. Yep, Rose got herself a keeper. 

She told Rose as much later that evening while helping with the clean up. Hux was entertaining their friends in the outdoor deck with after-dinner coffee, leaving the two women alone in the kitchen. 

“Oh, don’t I know it,” Rose sighed dreamily. “He’s wonderful, Rey. He’s charming and sophisticated but also warm and hilarious. Armie constantly surprises me, Rey. I only fall more in love with the man with each passing day.” Her man cooked, cleaned, made the big bucks and - something Rey didn’t need to hear - was a generous lover, as well.

“He’s made for you, Rose,” Rey finished loading the dishwasher before turning to dry her hands. “It’s sickeningly obvious how much he worships the ground you walk on, hon.”

Rose looked down at her engagement ring, her cute face one of awe. “I love him...more than I thought possible, Rey.”

“You deserve all the happiness in the world, Rose.”

“So do you,” Rose said softly, frowning slightly as she scrutinized her friend. Rey looked carefree, lively...radiant. The younger woman had always been pretty but since, the arrangement with Ben Solo, she’d become downright resplendent. This Rey...glowed. Even dressed casually in jeans, a black top and flats with minimal makeup, she was gorgeous. It was almost unsettling, perhaps produced by the brilliant light of the room, haloing her chestnut hair and lighting the tawny depths of her hazel eyes, how luminous Rey looked. But there was _something_ in those eyes. Something that didn’t quite match the warm glow...in fact, it looked almost cold and oddly dark...cynical, even. Those words had never been used to describe the open and friendly Rey before.

“I’m happy, Rose,” 

Rose arched a brow in question at the unexpected response. “I would say orgasms suit you but...there’s something else, isn’t there, sweetie?”

Rey laughed, not taking Rose’s concern at all seriously. “There’s nothing else, Rose, I promise. Maybe I took his advice and decided to grow up...to fuck purely for physical release. To have incredible, mind-blowing sex without the love.”

“Hmm…” Having known Rey for over five years, Rose knew that her friend craved love, romantic love. 

“I’m happy, Rose! I quite like being this liberated...no stupid sentimental feelings getting in the way, ruining my orgasms. It’s so fucking freeing...I really should have done it sooner.” Rey confessed, not even blushing as she openly talked about sex. “Most things in my life I have no control over but this arrangement - sex with him, I _can_ control it and it’s honestly exhilarating, Rose.”

This much was true because, for the first time in her life, Rey felt in charge. Sure, she still had obligations and responsibilities but those things were mostly out of her control...her student debts, her parents’ debts, her mother’s health and upcoming surgery. But this sexual contract was something she went into consciously, completely level-headed. Of course, Ben could end things at any time but Rey was prepared for that. After all, she’d always left her feelings at the door of his high-rise, transforming into the cool, sexually uninhibited woman the moment she walked into his penthouse apartment. Any worries she’d had about being able to detach herself emotionally from her body had disappeared after that first time. And each time was easier than before. 

During the day, she forced herself to do the normal things, but she felt as if her entire life had been turned upside down - more so than when she’d first met Kylo Ren. Rey felt as if nothing were the same. _She_ wasn’t the same. Being with _Sir_ had brought up the long-buried sensuality of her nature and she relished it, revelled in the passion that was savage and all-encompassing, carnal and primal. They fucked like animals, rutting every which way except missionary, avoiding eye and mouth-to-mouth contact and Rey enjoyed every minute of it. 

At work, her passions were kept hidden under a polite and courteous demeanor, calling him Mr. Solo, but he became _Sir_ the moment she stepped inside his penthouse. They didn’t eat together, barely even talked during sex and each time, it ended the same way. Rey would excuse herself into the bathroom to clean up, leaving him alone on the bed, before thanking him for the ‘wonderful fuck’ and then she would leave. Every single time, Rey left the penthouse without a backwards glance, her body relaxed from intense sexual satisfaction. Never once did she look back at the man she left behind, never once did she see his pained, hurt expression. 

“If you say so, Rey,” Rose still wasn’t convinced that nothing was wrong. “Do you have an end date?”

“I do.” Rey was going to terminate their contract at the conclusion of the Jakku project, in exactly one week’s time. An extra 20K would be in her bank account and she would be on a plane to the UK to start her two-month holiday. Though, it was not an actual holiday as the hospital had surgery scheduled for the day after her arrival. The remainder of her time would be spent recovering before she came back to the States, back to work for Poe. Thank God, she’d had enough personal days accrued to do so.

“Are you prepared for the end, Rey?”

Rey nodded, her face serious. “I am, Rose. I’ve been preparing for the end since the very beginning.”

True to her word, Rey ended their arrangement permanently the following Friday after the conclusion of the Jakku project. She’d orgasmed multiple times, made him cum in her mouth once, before he fucked her doggy-style, going in so deep she was certain he’d rearranged her organs in the process. Then, like always, she excused herself afterwards, disappearing into the bathroom to clean up.

She stared at herself in the mirror, noting the shadows under her wide, hazel eyes, but she didn’t look tired. She looked...like herself but not really. The expression in her eyes had changed, as if a light had been extinguished. She no longer resembled the shy, uncertain virgin - the openly naive romantic who had fallen in love with Kylo Ren. Over the course of a few months but especially during the affair, she’d become someone she’d never intended to be..cynical, cold, able to detach herself completely from her emotions during the intimate act of sex. Rey wasn’t ready yet to dwell on _that_ but for now, she was going to chalk it up to a life lesson learned. She’d experienced her first love, her first heartbreak and her first casual fuck within the span of half a year and all with the same man. It was ironic that the little girl who’d always believed in true love - having seen it first-hand with her parents, and within the commune she’d grown up in, was ready to give up on the idealistic dream for herself. Maybe she was not meant to have that grand love story the movies romanticized, maybe she did have to kiss a few frogs to find her prince and maybe that prince will be second-best, the one she would have to settle for because...honestly, Rey was certain that she was an _once and always_ kind of gal. And, unfortunately for her poor, tender heart, her _once_ was Kylo Ren and her _always_ was Ben Solo. He was one and the same and he didn’t want _her_.

Ben wanted her body, though, just not the package that came with it. He might have _liked_ her but he also liked Broadway shows, the color black and dark chocolate. It definitely wasn’t love that he felt for her, more likely just a general fondness. No, it was not love. Not now, and definitely not then….not when he’d tricked her into believing he was a struggling teaching assistant. He hadn’t loved her when he’d taken her on romantic strolls of the lake, asking her questions about her life and sharing stories of his own childhood. He hadn’t loved her when they’d gone on hikes in the mountains, where they’d talked for hours about their mutual love of astronomy. Of course, there had been no love on his part when he’d taken her virginity and he definitely hadn’t loved her when she’d found out the truth about him. The man had never intended to apologize to her in the first place; it had been a chance meeting, purely coincidental that they’d met again at all. Ben had never ever sought her out on his own, not really, anyway. Hell, he’d tried to fire her when she’d been sent up to his office. And then, he’d propositioned her because he just _couldn’t_ seem to let her go. Well, she’d let him play with her heart for long enough. It was time to close this chapter of her life. She didn’t care that she still loved him despite everything but she wanted to move on, to move past this, to move past _him_. Her love for him will always be there, of course, but at least her pain won’t be.

“This is the end, isn’t it?” He asked her the moment she’d stepped back into the bedroom. His face was still flushed from sex but his eyes were narrowed, unreadable. The sardonic brown gaze traced over her lovely face, unconsciously memorizing every minute detail.

“Yes.” The word was decisive and firm, given with a coolly serene smile. 

It was a smile Ben had come to hate. It was the same goddamn smile she gave him every time they were finished, the same one she gave him at the office, and never once did the smile ever reach her eyes. Those brilliant hazel eyes of hers had lost their twinkle, their sparkle. The light was no longer there, replaced instead by a dull indifference, a cold aloofness, like that of an ice maiden. She was hot in the bedroom but cold in the boardroom. The laughing, beautiful girl that had walked into his life with her bright smile and sunny disposition was no more...and Ben had no one to blame but himself. _He_ had done that to her. The hard vice that clenched his heart was not unexpected, the grip tightening at the words he knew were forthcoming. Words that tore at his heart every single time, words that slashed him to shreds, words that shattered him into a million pieces. Every. Single. Time.

“Thank you for the wonderful fuck, sir. Goodbye.” There was a calm, deathly finality in her words this time, and instead of biting his earlobe like usual, she gave him a chaste peck on his hard cheek. And then she was gone, strolling out of the door, out of the penthouse, out of his life without once looking back at the broken man she’d left behind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers. Wow, thank you so much for all the feedback and responses to the previous chapter. As always, I love hearing your thoughts and opinions. Thank you so much for reading and please let me know what you think. Enjoy!

**Chapter Eight**

Ben did not call for Mitaka, choosing to drive himself. Just as he’d done all the other nights Rey left his penthouse, he waited exactly five minutes giving himself enough time to get dressed quickly before he headed to the underground garage. He always chose the classic black BMW, the model blending discreetly into traffic as he drove behind the bus. Rey never made other stops between his penthouse and her own apartment building, the ride lasting exactly forty-five minutes no matter the day of the week. The bus stopped at the corner of her building, so she only had to take a few steps before entering the fifth brownstone from the end, where her apartment was located on the third floor. It took Rey two minutes and forty seconds to reach her apartment, the lights she’d turned on barely visible through the blinds. But it was enough to assure Ben she’d gotten home safe and sound, though he’d wish she stayed somewhere a little less dodgy. Though, the neighborhood didn’t seem _too_ bad, it just wasn’t up to his standards. 

And like all the other times, Ben sat inside his parked car, watching her apartment window from across the two-lane street, contemplating and cursing himself for his own foolishness...and his cruelty. He almost felt like a peeping tom but Rey never opened her blinds, so Ben never actually saw anything. Her lights would turn off after an hour, on both work nights and weekends, and still Ben remained there, in the dark, alone with his turbulent thoughts. 

Leaning back into the seat, he shut his eyes, his chest still tight from their earlier confrontation. She’d ended their arrangement and he felt...relieved...so fucking relieved. He had almost broken down right then and there in front of her, so fucking relieved that the whole sordid arrangement was over. Even now, tears threatened to spill forth at his selfishness, at his own conceit. He’d been so narrow-minded, so focused on getting her back in his bed that he hadn’t even thought of _her_. He hadn’t imagined the repercussions, the consequences of their actions. Ben had let himself believe that because of that stupid contract, Rey had been ready for a purely physical relationship. Intimacy _without_ intimacy. He had been fooling himself, of course, ignoring all the glaring signs. Rey had not been prepared for how it would change her. Despite her brave display afterwards, Ben knew that, little by little, the experience had chipped away at her innocence, at her virtue. Her pride was still intact but the lively and spirited girl of a few months before was gone. _He_ had done that to her. He had trampled on her emotions, left her dull and lifeless, a shell of her former self.

Bitterly, Ben recalled in vivid detail their first meeting, their first conversation. Hell, he remembered exactly what she’d been wearing that day - a soft yellow tee, army green cropped khakis with a light denim jacket and black Converses, her mouth tilted up in a self-conscious smile as she apologized profusely for bumping into him and causing his documents to scatter all over the floor. Never mind that he hadn’t watched where he was going when he’d collided into her, Rey had been all too quick to take the blame.

_“Oh, bloody hell...I’m so so sorry, sir...ah…” Rey stammered, bending down to retrieve the papers. She stood up, lifting her head and gasped, her cheeks reddening at the sight that awaited her._

_The man was very tall, probably six-four, and very strong. She was slightly above average height for a woman, but her build was lithe and graceful, and she had the feeling that he could have lifted her with one hand. His eyes were chocolate brown, watching her intently, with genuine surprise. A curiously light-headed feeling began to creep over her, and then realized that she was holding her breath. She let it out in a soft sigh, still staring up at the hard, remarkably distinct and arresting face. He had pale skin - not sickly pale, but a healthy alabaster that was striking against the ebony of his silky hair. Hair that he kept long, almost to his shoulders and verging on shagginess. He looked hard and sensual and dangerously in control. Rey found that she could not look away from him._

_His nose was a little too prominent, his jaw a little too long, his cheekbones not very defined but somehow all they worked on his unconventionally handsome face. And that mouth was positively wicked, and she stopped breathing again when she looked at it. His mouth was wide and plush, and his lips were mobile and clear cut, with a small curl to them that could be either cynicism or amusement. It was the mouth of a man with vast and varied experience, a man who knew how to kiss, how to savor the taste of a woman’s skin. Rey found herself suddenly shaken by the compulsion to rise on her tiptoes and find out for herself just how well he could kiss._

_“No, no, it was entirely my fault,” Ben interrupted her lustful thoughts, taking the papers from her hands. He shivered slightly at the jolt of electricity that passed between them when their fingers grazed. Seeing her blush deepen, he knew she felt it, too._

_“Oh, wow...my advisor mentioned a new teaching assistant...I just didn’t expect someone so mature…” Rey bit her lip, her eyes widening at her awkward candidness. “Oh, geez...I didn’t mean...ah...you’re not old...”_

_Ben grinned, revealing adorably crooked teeth that made him slightly less intimidating. He wasn’t an assistant exactly, though he had been giving a lecture. He told the girl that and watched her smack her forehead. He found the action endearingly cute. “It’s okay...ah...I didn’t get your name.”_

_“Rey. I’m Rey.” She held out her hand, her eyes smiling into his._

_“Kylo Ren, nice to meet you,” Ben clasped her small hand in his much bigger one, his expression turning into one of a wolf ready to pounce on a bunny rabbit. He wanted her. Whatever it was about Rey, he wanted her. He couldn’t remember a woman he’d wanted whom he hadn’t eventually gotten, and usually within a fairly short length of time. There was no reason for things to be any different with Rey._

But things _were_ different. He’d done everything differently with Rey from the very beginning. For one, he’d only wanted her to know him as Kylo Ren, an alias he’d used many times in his youth. Growing up with a famous last name and coming from old money, Ben had wanted something new with Rey...something unlike the sophisticated relationships he’d had before. There had been the usual gold-diggers and social climbers among his past women but he’d known upfront what they’d wanted from him. They’d enjoyed his wealth and notoriety while indulging in a mutual sexually-fulfilling affair. For all the differences in their characters, his past women had shared a certain sense of style, of polish and worldliness. They had all looked - and been - expensive. He hadn’t minded, and had enjoyed spoiling them, only wanting the best on his arm to show off to the world. While Ben had enjoyed their companionship, after going through so many of the same, he’d suddenly realized how shallow it had all been. For the first time in his life, after meeting Rey, he had wanted something...deeper, something...meaningful. And so he had withheld his real identity. 

Ben groaned, glancing up at her darkened apartment window again. He’d been embarrassed, worried that she’d google his name and saw his reputation as a Lothario, a new woman every few months, living it up as the son of prominent, wealthy parents, heir to a multi-billion-dollar corporation. Not that it excused his lie and subsequent actions, but Ben had been scared, scared of his own feelings, of the tender, unknown emotion he’d developed for Rey. Of course, he’d realized his mistake almost immediately after meeting Rey. And, he had tried so many times to tell her the truth but he’d been a coward. He hadn’t wanted to ruin the purity of their relationship, based on a single lie or not. Ben always told himself he would tell her the truth on their next date but then he would be distracted by her crazy childhood stories of growing up in a commune, of caravaning with her parents throughout most of Europe and North Africa, of how she’d ended up attending college in the States. Next time, he’d say, but next time turned into them biking and hiking nearby trails, of conversations about constellations and the Hubble Telescope, of classic sci-fi movies like 2001: A Space Odyssey and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It had been weeks of pure torture, of Ben wanting to reveal the truth, of Ben wanting to end the relationship before it became too serious...she was too young for him...too naive for his sophisticated maturity...too innocent for his debauched depravity. There had been so many reasons - far too many for Ben to end things, but he had wanted her. He wanted her still, and there was nothing civilized or gentle about it. The urge made a mockery of both his intellect and his self-control.

Rey wasn’t anything like the women he had always found most attractive. He had always preferred curvy women, big in the bust and voluptuous but Rey was lean and slender with long legs and a firm, rounded ass. Rey, in contrast to the stylishly-dressed women of his past, evidently paid little attention to her clothes. She wore basic denim or cotton trousers, plain tees and button ups. Her hair was a rich chestnut brown, pulled back into a weird three bun style. Her makeup was minimal and probably would be a waste, as her complexion didn’t really need it. Her skin was lightly tanned, a creamy golden hue, and it looked like a warm, living satin. Even her eyes were the golden brown hazel of dark topaz with tiny flecks of green. Ben thought she was the most beautiful, enticing creature he’d ever seen…But he had ruined her, had turned her into a formidably cold woman, able to detach her emotions from her body and engage in sex without feelings. 

“Oh, God, oh, God..oh, God…” Ben swore, banging his hand against the steering wheel in an uncharacteristic loss of control. Tears burned the back of his eyes as guilt washed over him, completely and mercilessly. His throat felt raw from remorse, his chest tight from self-loathing, from the pain he had caused the most innocent, most wonderful person he’d ever met. The charming, laughing girl with the bright smile and incandescent beauty was gone and he had no one to blame but himself.

Rey blinked at her phone, refreshing the banking app multiple times to ensure that she wasn’t mistaken. Then she pulled up the employee portal website to check her online paystub and, nope, there was no mistake. The bastard had added an additional 30K on top of the agreed-upon 20K plus her normal salary wages, making her last paycheck astronomical. A harsh laugh tore from her throat. She’d fucked him for less than two weeks and had earned 30K for it. She was such an idiot, thinking that stupid arrangement - that contract - had put them on equal footing. She’d been wrong...wrong on so many levels. She felt...dirty. Not once during the actual _fucking_ did she feel that way but now she felt...dirty. She’d shared her body with him freely, with a clear and open conscience but he had treated her as casually as any whore had ever been used. Did he even care about how his actions would make her feel? The answer was obvious. He did not. He’d already taken her body, her heart...and now he was trying to take her dignity. 

There had been times in the past when she’d felt beaten down, but she’d always recovered, always found the ability to laugh and enjoy life. Perhaps laughter was beyond her now, but there was steel in her, steel that wouldn’t allow her to buckle under. She hadn’t buckled under during her time in a commune, nor when she’d been in that ridiculous cult and not even when she’d been in foster care. Like hell was she going to let this man crush her! He could break her only if she allowed him to, and she wasn’t going to do that. Rey had to turn her back on the pain, push Ben out of her mind, because if she allowed her tortured thoughts to dwell on him, she’d go insane. And right now, for her parents, for her health, she couldn’t afford to. Not when she had a plane to catch in less than five hours. Not when she had a life to save.

***

“Something’s wrong with your brother.” Finn said in greeting to his fiance.

Poe only sighed, his handsome face weary as he slid into the booth where his friends occupied a corner of the bar. He’d just gotten out of a meeting with other top executives who’d expressed similar concerns, looking to Poe for aid, as if he could save them from the wrath of the CEO. As if Poe had any say in how his younger brother ran the company - which was doing exceedingly well - but the employee morale was at an all-time low. Everyone at the company had looked to Poe for help, mistaken in their belief that the beloved brother of the CEO could somehow make him less scary, less intimidating. As if! Poe himself was a little scared of Ben at times...with Ben being so fucking intense and powerfully dynamic, especially in his business persona. That infamous control of his, always dangerously held in check before, now seemed ready to snap at any moment. His abrupt change in demeanor seemed to have happened overnight, puzzling Poe and their parents. Of course, they’d tried to reach out to him but Ben had closed himself off from them, throwing himself wholeheartedly into his role as CEO. 

About two months ago, after the Jakku deal had been finalized, Ben had begun to work at a demonic pace that kept everyone, from his top executives to the lowest interns, rushing frantically to keep up with him and trying to avoid the lash of his temper. If he was satisfied with someone’s efforts, he was coolly courteous. But if he was dissatisfied - and he usually wasn’t - he tore into the offender with chilling savagery, cutting them to the bone. Within a week, the atmosphere on the top floor had deteriorated to a strained, crackling panic that stretched its tentacles from department to department, from floor to floor. No one laughed on the elevators or gossiped at the break room anymore. The once lively and fun workplace had become unpleasant, tense and dreary.

“Can’t you tell him to just fuck off, Poe?” This came from Hux, the ginger currently drowning his sorrows in a draft beer. “He bitched me out today, something about numbers and mismanagement,” 

Phasma snorted. “That’s nothing. He came after me for being early on my deadline and then threatened to cut my budget!”

“What’s his problem, anyway? Can’t he just get laid and put us out of our misery?” Finn groaned, rubbing his eyes. It was bad enough that their wedding was in two weeks and poor Rey still hadn’t returned from the UK. Of course, he knew about her situation but the dress fitting was next week and Finn was freaking the fuck out!

“Don’t worry, babe...he’ll be on his best behavior at the wedding.” Poe himself didn’t sound convinced.

“Well, this is just ridiculous!” Rose joined them then, her face flushed in annoyance. She slid in beside her fiance, giving him a kiss before finishing off his beer. Then she turned accusing eyes on Poe. “What the fuck is wrong with your brother?”

“Ah...so I take it the new position isn’t going well?” Poe dared to ask, rather meekly.

“No, shit! He yelled at me for taking a bathroom break...during what was supposed to be my lunch break!” Since Rey’s departure, Rose had joined Maz as Ben’s assistant, a mandate from HR as a result of her personal relationship with Hux.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Hux squeezed her shoulders in comfort.

“Ah…” Poe began.

“Can’t you do something, Poe? You’re his brother. Tell him to lay the fuck off and stop being so demanding! We can’t all work like a well-oiled machine with no social life!” Rose fumed.

“Ha! Ben has no social life? Since when?” Phasma rolled her eyes. She had gone to college with the guy so she was fully aware of his very active social life.

“He’s turned down every date with everyone that comes calling! As far as I know, he’s at the office at 6 and doesn’t leave until 8, sometimes 9 at night. The only dates he goes on are business related.” Rose supplied.

“I know he’s generally a hard-ass and pretty demanding but this is fucking nuclear! What happened?” Phasma looked at Poe, as if he knew all the answers.

Poe shook his head. “I haven’t a clue and he won’t talk to me.”

“Wasn’t it about two months ago, around the same time Rey left, that he made the head of payroll cry?” Finn asked, brows pleated in question.

“I think so. Poor Snap stayed in his office for the rest of the day but you could hear his crying from the hall.” Phasma frowned slightly at the memory.

“Oh, fuck...shit...fuck! Fuck!” Rose’s eyes were as wide as saucers as she cursed. Then she covered her face with her hands, mumbling incoherently.

“Rose? What is it, sweetie?” Hux rubbed her arms soothingly.

The others leaned close, trying to decipher her words.

“Ben is Kylo Ren. He broke Rey’s heart. Then he wanted to be her fuck buddy. Rey said yes but on her own terms. Then she ended the contract and left the States.” Rose explained quickly. "The timing fits so Rey could be the reason for his foul mood." 

“What?” The group exploded at once. They listened intently as Rose explained in more detail, revealing Rey and Ben’s sordid arrangement and how that, in turn, had made Rey cynical about her views on love.

“Kylo Ren was Ben’s alias when we were younger.” Hux said. He would know, having been Ben’s friend since elementary school. When the pair had gone on spring break, Ben usually registered his room under the pseudonym.

“What? I didn’t know that!” Poe sounded incredulous. 

Hux rolled his eyes. “Of course not, Poe. He was hiding from you!”

Poe threw his hands up at that and then suddenly his eyes narrowed and face turned red with anger. “He fucking broke Rey’s heart! That son of a bitch - wait, no, we have the same mother - that giant asshole! I thought I taught him better than that!”

“Great! So can we kill him now?” Finn looked downright furious, his eyes glittering dangerously. His poor peanut had been in such anguish over the guy and it turned out that fucking Kylo Ren was Ben fucking Solo all along.

“Hey! That’s my younger brother you’re talking about, babe! And yes, but me first!”

Twenty minutes later, the group found Ben in the luxurious fitness center of his apartment building, lifting weights like a maniac. He’d only just noticed them and was stopping his workout when they descended upon him.

“Poe? What are you guys - “ Ben didn’t finish his sentence, doubling over more in surprise than pain, when Poe’s fist connected with his stomach. He was just straightening himself when Finn punched him in almost the same spot. “Wait - what?”

Rose stood in front of him then, hands on her hips as she glared at him. She remained silent, waiting for Ben to look at her before she said the one word that made him break down, that made him collapse to his knees in a crying mess, his large shoulders shaking with his wrenching sobs. 

“Rey.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you for all your comments and awesome response to this story thus far. I've ease up on the angst a little as I do want a HEA for my main couple. Please let me know what you think! Happy reading!

**Chapter Nine**

The last thing the friends expected was to see their always in control, domineering CEO turn into an inconsolable, bawling _mess_. It was both humanizing and uncomfortable as hell. And despite everything the man had put them through, they all cared, offering support by saying nothing as he grieved. Poe had sighed, placing a comforting hand on his brother’s broad shoulder and feeling helpless to the harsh sounds that burst from his chest. It had been years since he’d seen Ben cry, what with his tight leash on his anger and emotions in general. Sure, he presented a teasing, flirtatious side to women, and a cool, authoritative side to his employees but Ben had always held a part of himself back, never once allowing anyone to see past the facade he’d built around himself.

“So do you talk first or do I talk first?” Poe finally said after Ben’s sobs had finally lessened into the occasional hiccup.

“Neither. I will talk first.” Rose moved away from Hux’s side, coming to stand in front of the big broken man. “Mr. Solo - ah, Ben - I have one question for you and I need you to answer truthfully.”

Ben lifted his head slowly, his eyes an open book to his soul and what Rose saw there made her flinch. His pain was so raw, so real, so gut wrenching. He nodded for her to continue.

“Did you pay Rey for her _services_?” She demanded furiously, recalling the absolute devastation in Rey’s voice when they’d last spoken.

Ben’s shoulders sagged even further, his face growing paler at her question. Then he shook his head. 

“I want the truth, Ben. Did you add an additional 30K to her paycheck for - for - sleeping with you?” Rose refused to give up.

Ben drew in a breath, his lips twitching into a humorless smile. “No, Rose. I did not. Payroll made that mistake. Rey was supposed to be given a separate check from the Jakku organization for that amount...it was a gift from the ambassador for her fine work.”

Well that explains why he had torn into the head of payroll. Rose breathed a sigh of relief, the tension leaving her body. “I am glad to know you’re not a complete dick, Ben.”

“Is...is that what, um, Rey, thinks?” Ben asked hesitantly, as if he was afraid of the answer.

“Yes,” Rose answered bluntly. “She was so hurt, Ben, but I’m sure it doesn’t matter to you either way.” 

“What do you mean by that?” A slight edge, a hardness was clear in his tone.

Hux motioned for her to stop but she ignored him, uncaring that she was treading on dangerous territory. If the man cared at all about her friend, Rose _needed_ to know.

“She means nothing to you, Ben. You played her for a fool as Kylo Ren, then you somehow got her to be your fuck buddy. You fucked her, had fun with her and now it’s over. So why concern yourself with a _nobody_ like Rey.”

Ben shot up to his full height, his hands clenched at his sides as he glared down at the petite woman. “What did you just call her?” He roared his outrage.

Rose wasn’t the least bit intimidated...not after seeing how he’d reacted to the mere mention of Rey. “Rey is a nobody, Ben. She comes from nothing, really.”

“Not to me.” He said tightly, slowly, his eyes flashing with pure fury as he pounded his chest for emphasis. “She’s _not_ nothing to me.”

“Oh, thank God! I was worried you didn’t care!” Rose exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly and jumping up and down, the widest grin on her adorable face.

“What just happened, Rose?” Phasma was in a state of confusion. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Ben cares for Rey.” Rose said, looking smug. And Rey most definitely still loved the guy, Rose was sure of it. Though Rose wasn’t yet convinced if Ben was good enough for her friend, it was nice to know that Rey’s feelings were reciprocated.

“Is that what that was? Caring?” Finn spat derisively. “I’m still angry that you ghosted her, Ben! Don’t think that just because you’re going to be my brother-in-law that I’ll forgive you so easily! You really hurt her!” 

“Hold on, babe. Let’s just take a moment to process all this.” Poe held up a hand, coming to stand between his brother and his fiance. “However, I believe we should move to somewhere more private and comfortable.”

Less than five minutes later, Ben was seated in the living room of his penthouse, trying not to squirm as five sets of eyes watched him intently. They waited expectantly for him to begin, for him to tell them his side of the story which meant revealing more of himself than he was comfortable with.

“Come on, Ben. If you want our help, talk.” Hux urged gently.

So he did. It felt strange. He couldn’t remember ever needing help before in deciding what to do, especially regarding his personal life. Ben began at the beginning; how he’d met Rey and his reasons for using an alias with her. How he had wanted to end things before it became serious but he hadn’t been able to stop seeing Rey. It did not go unnoticed that every time Ben mentioned her name, his voice cracked a little. Then during their first weekend together, in Lake Takodana, Ben had been informed that he would be taking over the reins as the new CEO of the company and somehow Rey had gotten lost in the shuffle. Of course, Ben had stupidly seen it as a sign; he had more responsibilities now and Rey was too young, too naive for his new fast-paced life. Besides, Rey had aspirations of her own and he hadn’t wanted to be in the way of her dreams. But then, Ben saw her again and his need for her had eroded his better judgement. Then the stupid, fucking contract - the arrangement happened - and now Ben blamed himself for Rey’s new cynical outlook on life. 

“I extinguished her light - it was me - I did that to her!” 

“No, Ben, you do not get to say that!” Rose said vehemently. “You don’t have the power to do that! She is her own person and, though you probably didn’t help the situation, she changed for herself. Circumstances brought along by you might have triggered a change, but you are not the sole reason, Ben! Do you understand?”

Ben nodded weakly. “If I could take it back, Rose, I would. I should never have gotten involved with Rey. But it was too late and I was too selfish to let her go.”

“Well, fuck, Ben!” Poe stood up and began to pace in front of the fireplace. “Fuck, fuck, and you’re paired up with her at the wedding…! I can’t do that to Rey - ” His outburst ended in a stream of more curses and grunts as he looked at his brother in varying states of frustration, anger and empathy. 

Now it was Finn’s turn to calm his fiance. Something about Ben’s description of Rey, the apparent aching hunger he had for her, had struck a nerve with Finn, garnering some compassion for the distraught man. “Poe, take it easy. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I never thought I’d see the day, Solo,” Phasma smirked, arms over her chest as she stared at Ben.

Ben looked at her, his dark eyes narrowed in question.

“You, in love, with someone besides yourself.” She deadpanned, lightening up the atmosphere dramatically as Hux coughed to disguise his snort while Poe and Finn did nothing to disguise theirs. “The thief of hearts finally got his heart stolen.”

“You love her, Ben...really love her?” Poe was serious.

Ben froze, and his eyes went blank with shock. Love? He’d never even thought the word. He wanted Rey, more than any other woman he’d ever met. And it wasn’t just her body either. He wanted to hear her laughter, to see her smile, to listen to her talk for hours about which Carl Sagan book was her absolute favorite: Contact, of course. He wanted to hold her hand, to smell her hair, to just _be_ with her. God, he wanted all of her with a fierce passion that threatened to destroy him if he didn’t get it. But everything in him rebelled at the thought of being in _love_. It would mean a terrible helplessness; make him completely vulnerable to another person...and yet, with Rey, Ben had never been worried that she would abuse his feelings. Of course, it was love! All this time, that unnamed emotion that gripped him, that closed tightly around his heart every time he’d seen her or been in her presence or thought of her had been love. He’d fallen in love with Rey as Kylo Ren and remained still in love with Rey as Ben Solo. But he’d fucked it up. Fucked it up so _so_ badly.

“Ben, do you love her?” Poe repeated.

Ben nodded, running a trembling hand over his face, blinding truth staring him in the eye. “So in love with her that I only want her to be happy. After everything I’ve put her through, she deserves the best. It won’t be me, obviously, but as long as Rey’s happy...that’ll be enough for me.” He would gladly live the rest of his life with a big, gaping hole in his heart, just barely functioning...Ben would be willing to live like he was bleeding to death inside as long as Rey was happy.

“You’d let her go?” Finn asked.

“Just like that?” Rose added. 

“Of course. I love her enough _to_ let her go. She deserves a good man, a man she loves. And that man is not me.” Ben’s face was as bleak as his words.

***  
  


Rey hated saying goodbye to her parents but obligations and responsibilities were calling her back to the States...back to her so-called ‘life’. At least the operation had gone well and both Jyn and Rey had exceeded doctors’ expectations during the procedure as well as the recovery period. Jyn’s body had not rejected Rey’s liver and was responding nicely to her immunosuppressant agents while Rey’s own liver was regrowing at a normal rate. Rey and her parents couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. In another stroke of luck, the 20K Rey had received from the Jakku project had been just enough to cover the expenses as they had qualified for special funding which had paid for the remainder of the medical bills. One debt paid and still many more to go. But first, Rey had a check for 30K plus 2 months interest burning a hole in her wallet.

“What do you mean, you can’t accept this?” Rey looked at the head of payroll, Snap Wexley, as if he’d sprouted another head.

“The money is yours, Rey.” 

“No, it is not. I negotiated for 20K, not 50,”

“Rey. I don’t know what else to tell you. The Jakku -” The shrill of the phone interrupted them and Snap reached for his cell phone, his hands shaking slightly. “It’s my wife. I have to take this, Rey.”

Rey shifted her feet nervously as she waited. Should she have given the money back right away...oh, God, was she going to jail? Did they think she’d stolen from them?

“Oh, my, God. Rey. My wife’s water just broke and she’s on her way to the hospital. I have to go. But, like I said. The money is yours.” Snap added before rushing out of the room, leaving Rey staring after him.

_Well, fuck._

That did not go as she’d planned. Then her legs started moving. Determined, she headed towards the elevators. Two months, she had longed for this moment, longed to throw the money back into his cocky face. But she did not long to see the man. Her heart still wasn’t ready...two months hadn’t helped her get over him but her pride and dignity refused to let him get away with it. She refused to let him get away with treating her like a high-priced prostitute. 

Oh, God...what if he fired her for this? Rey’s arrogant stride faltered slightly at that worry.

“Rey, what a lovely surprise.”

Rey jerked, stumbling backwards as she came face-to-face with Leia. The retired CEO rarely came into the office unless it was for a shareholders’ meeting. 

“Hello, Leia. How are you?” Rey smiled nervously.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Ben and I have a lunch date. Would you like to join us?” Leia’s tone allowed no room for refusal but Rey tried anyway.

“Well...um...I only have to return something to Mr. Solo and then I really should get back to work. I’ve been away for over two months.” Rey explained, her eyes not leaving Leia’s so she missed Ben’s approach.

Ben swallowed past the lump in his throat, his eyes drinking in the sight of her hungrily. She was more beautiful than he’d remembered, her hair had grown, falling past her shoulders now, her skin was still creamy smooth and her smile shined brightly. She looked...luminous. Relief made him release the breath he was holding, the Rey he’d fallen in love with was back...maybe...hopefully.

“Please do join us. Right, Ben?” 

“Yes, please.” Ben came to stand in front of them, a hesitant smile on his face as he looked down at Rey.

Rey felt her stomach flutter as those chocolate brown eyes collided with hers. Nope, two months wasn’t long enough. She was still attracted to the man despite everything he’d done to her but she would never let him hurt her again. Just because she still wanted him didn’t mean she was going to have him. Without missing a beat, she handed him an envelope with the enclosed check.

“My _services_ were free, sir.” Rey saw him flinch at her words, the color and smile fading from his face. She felt immense satisfaction at his reaction but there was something else in his eyes that gave her pause. His eyes seemed...sad. Automatically, she forced that possibility aside. The mighty Ben Solo did not feel sadness or pain; he was the one causing it.

“What services, dear?” Leia asked, looking between the two curiously.

Ben needed to explain himself before Rey thought any worse of him than she already did. “Rey performed so admirably on the Jakku acquisition that the nation’s ambassador added a bonus on top of what we were already paying her. Payroll made a mistake by combining it into one check as opposed to two despite very clear instructions.” Ben watched Rey the entire time, seeing the moment realization dawned. “I am sorry, Rey, for any confusion this may have caused but I would never ever pay for _services_ freely given. I am many things but disrespectful of women is not one of them.”

Rey gulped, feeling stupidly relieved that he had not seen her as a prostitute. Not that it changed anything between them, of course. He was still the manwhore who’d ghosted her after she’d given him her virginity, breaking her heart in more ways than one. Though Rey couldn’t help noticing that this Ben - the one standing in front of her with a softened expression on his handsome face - was _different_. But different how, Rey wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.

“Lunch, kids? I’m starving,” Leia cut in, linking her arm through Rey’s and expecting Ben to follow them into the elevator. “So, tell me about your mother, dear? I heard about the transplant and I must say, you are a wonderful daughter. Such a lovely person for doing what you did.”

“Transplant?” Ben asked, his eyes traveling over Rey’s slender frame worriedly.

Rey focused on Leia, suppressing the shiver of heat as a result of his perusal. “Yes. I donated part of my liver to my mother. She is doing amazingly well though she won’t be able to travel out of the country for a bit.”

Leia pulled Rey into a warm hug just as the elevator doors opened to the underground garage. “Oh, my, dear, I was so worried but it’s good to hear Jyn is on the mend. Han and I plan to visit after the wedding, giving Jyn enough time to recover before we descend upon her and Cass. And how are you holding up?”

Rey didn’t know how it happened but she found herself seated beside Ben, enjoying a steak and arugula salad while she conversed with Leia. She didn’t dare look at Ben but she was aware of his presence all the same. His brooding, watchful presence offered little to the conversation. Oh, God, she knew she shouldn’t have come along...was he mad at her for overstepping her position as a mere paralegal to have lunch with him and his mother?

“The doctors say my liver should be back to full size in a few months. And aside from a nice battle scar, I feel pretty good.” Rey said, sipping her sparkling water. “But enough about me, how are you doing? I can’t believe the wedding is two weeks away!”

Lunch ended not long after as Leia had a final dress fitting appointment. As Rey had come with them, it made sense for her to return to work with Ben, sitting in the passenger's seat, after dropping Leia off at the bridal boutique. It was the moment she’d dreaded, being alone with him for the first time since...the end of the arrangement, since the last time at his apartment, since the last time they’d fucked.

“Rey,” his deep voice cut through the nervous silence in the car. “I really am sorry about the mix-up with payroll. I did try to have Snap fix it.”

Rey shook her head, looking out the window. “It’s okay, it’s fine...just knowing that it wasn’t for - ah - _that_ , I’m okay.” And she was okay. She felt no anger towards him, now that she knew the truth about the money. Her earlier disillusion about love had lessened in the last two months, her cynicism fading like her surgical scar. Romantic love existed...maybe it wasn’t as grand as what her parents had, but love was definitely still present. Rey had also seen examples of other kinds of love during her stay at the hospital; the love between siblings, between parent and child, even between good friends. Even if Rey herself wasn’t going to have the once-in-a-lifetime romance, the soulmate kind of love, didn’t mean that she should lose hope that she wouldn’t have something close. And if she ended up without a mate by her side, that would be fine, too.

Ben nodded, keeping his eyes on the road as he replayed the words in his head before speaking them aloud. “Rey, I know that I have done so many wrong things with you - to you and I just want to apologize. I am sincerely sorry for having hurt you in the past.”

Rey’s eyes flickered to his hands, saw his tight white grip on the steering wheel and knew that he was speaking the truth. She believed him, that he was truly sorry for how he’d treated her. Her heart squeezed tightly, realizing that all he’d ever feel for her was remorse. He was sorry, that was all. He felt regret, not love, never love where she was concerned. In time, maybe it wouldn’t hurt her so much but for now, it still did. But she didn’t blame him...after all, like the song said: _I can’t make you love me if you don’t._ Rey was just unlucky to have fallen in love with a man who didn’t feel the same. It was unfortunate but it was _okay_.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me or anything, of course, but I just wanted you to know that I deeply regret my actions.”

“Okay.”

“And I know it’s asking a lot, but I was wondering if we can be friends, Rey.” Ben inquired softly.

“Friends?” Rey echoed.

“Or acquaintances...or whatever you want, but just friends, not what we - ah - had in the past.” Fuck, but he hated having to mention that stupid arrangement! 

“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me, Rey. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other down the road since you’re friends with my brother and future brother-in-law, and also your best friend is engaged to my best friend, and your parents are friends with my parents...fuck, this is a small world, huh?” Ben ran a hand through his hair, chuckling slightly.

Rey couldn’t hold back her mirth either, giggling at the coincidences. “It really is...hm...let’s try one more. Our godmother’s name at the count of three - ” 

“One...two...three...Amilyn Holdo!” They shouted in unison before dissolving into laughter.

It took many moments for them to regain their composure but when they returned to the office building, there was a sliver of shared camaraderie, minuscule but there. Sure...what the hell...friends, they could be just friends.

  
***

“Yo, Solo, you going to eat that thing or re-kill it?” Hux leaned over to whisper, his head nodding towards the perfectly-cooked piece of steak Ben was currently stabbing with a knife.

Ben barely acknowledged the man, his dark eyes glaring at the other table where a certain brunette was talking much too closely with the male guest seated beside her. How had he gotten stuck sitting at the couples’ table while Rey was clearly at the singles’ table - a table full of eligible men vying for her undivided attention. Ben had been paired up with Rey during the wedding ceremony and pictures and even during the announcement at the reception but Poe and Finn had taken it upon themselves to find Rey a good man at their own fucking wedding. 

“Ben? Earth to Ben?” Rose snapped her fingers right in front of his face to get his attention. She only laughed harder at his annoyed growl.

“What is it, Rose?” Ben asked curtly, his eyes now narrowed into slits as jealousy began to eat at him. Damn it! Rey looked almost incandescent, laughter brightening her face as she listened to whatever pick-up line the jerkface was using on her.

“I thought you wanted to be friends?”

“What? Huh? Yeah, of course, just friends with Rey.” Ben pierced a piece of steak with much more force than was needed before stuffing it into his mouth and chewing it aggressively, his cheeks red with color as he saw Rey head towards the dance floor with the dickhead.

“Hm...if looks could kill…” Phasma joined in on the teasing, whacking Ben’s broad back in greeting. “I think that guy touching Rey would be six feet under by now,”

“What are you guys talking about?” Ben forced his eyes away to find his friends watching him with unconcealed amusement.

“You want to pursue her again or not, man? Make up your mind,” Hux asked.

“No. She deserves better than me - and that fuckface there, too!”

“You’ve been ‘friends’ for what - two weeks - and you’ve wanted to punch every guy that looks at Rey, no matter if he’s nine or ninety. And you’re telling us that you’re okay just being her friend,” Rose snorted loudly before taking a drink of champagne.

“I said she deserves better than me!” Ben countered. They were right, of course, but he wasn’t going to admit it. He fucking ached for Rey, but he had hurt her too many times to count. Somehow, he would learn to control himself again - to control this urge to kill every man who looked at her with anything but purely platonic thoughts.

“Oh, for fuck sake,” Phasma pulled him onto the dance floor where Rey was dancing with another one of her table mates and quickly cut in before practically shoving Ben towards Rey.

He’d never felt so awkward in his life but Rey just smiled sweetly up at him. 

“Hi, Ben,” 

“Hi, Rey,” A sharp longing knotted his insides as she stepped into his arms, but he schooled his features to reflect only the light, casual friendliness they’d developed in this new relationship of theirs.

They danced well together; he was tall, but her heels brought her up to a comfortable height, allowing her to nestle her head just under his chin. He knew just how to hold a woman, not so tightly that she couldn’t maneuver and not so loosely that she was unable to follow his lead. Rey gave a quiet sigh of pleasure; thankful that she’d been rescued from yet another boring bachelor. Unconsciously, she breathed in the faint scent of his cologne, so quiet that it was just barely there, and beneath that was the warm, musky scent of his skin. 

“Thanks for saving me,”

“Oh, did you need saving just now?” Ben’s tone was teasing despite the unwanted reaction he had to her nearness, to her softness, to her delicately intoxicating scent. He would control his body, damn it! Their friendship was still very fragile and Ben refused to let his own physical urges ruin it.

“You have no idea.” Rey frowned, still looking up at him. “I was the only woman at the table tonight. And everyone else was single, every single one of them.”

“Finn and Poe are so obvious, am I right?” Ben laughed lightly, thinking to himself that she looked so adorably sexy with her face scrunched up. His eyes unknowingly counted the freckles on her nose.

“Yeah, I should have known. They’re crazy, but thanks, again, for saving me.”

Ben shrugged, his hand still clasped in hers as they danced. “That’s what friends are for.”

Rey broke eye contact, moving her eyes to focus over his shoulder as they continued dancing in silence until the song ended. _Just friends._ As if she could forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of the story, I am choosing to ignore the UK's free health care😋. Comments are welcome anytime, all the time. Thanks for reading 😁


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, only a couple more chapters to go after this...and the angst is back! It's a long road to that happy ending but it's coming. Please comment and leave kudos to keep me going as I am fighting bronchitis and also have 3 sick kids to take care of! Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

**Chapter Ten**

Being just friends with Rey was killing him slowly, Ben decided. A full two months into their new relationship and Ben had somehow gotten wrangled into being Rey’s wingman/protector of sorts. It was pure torture that Ben had a front-row seat to her dates, his jaw clenching in jealous rage every time a suitor so much as smiled at her while he watched them from a safe distance. Poe and Finn had tricked him into it the first time; Rey was meeting a date off of Tinder and they needed to make sure the guy wasn’t a serial killer or a total loser and since they were on their honeymoon, they’d enlisted Ben’s help. That one time had turned into a second and a third until it became an unspoken rule that Ben would be accompanying Rey on every single one of her first dates. And there had been a ton of them...until this guy...this so-called ‘entrepreneur’. Ben had wanted to punch the guy in his fucking face the moment he’d seen him. But, for some stupid reason, Rey liked him. Rey actually _liked_ that douchebag Phillip Altman...with his perfectly groomed facial hair and his flashy Porsche. It had taken all of Ben’s control not to carry Rey off into the sunset, as far away from the obvious playboy as they could get. But, nope, Rey liked the guy so Ben had to stew in silence, keeping his opinions to himself, while she enjoyed their third date. And Ben _knew_ what happened on the third date. 

_What am I even doing here?_ Was he a glutton for punishment, he wondered, glaring at the darkened window of Rey’s apartment. He wasn’t even sure how he’d gotten here but he had somehow, unconsciously, followed them from the restaurant...like a fucking stalker. It was a new low, even for him, after everything he’d done to her, after all his cruelty. He’d finally lost his goddamn mind - becoming the stalker of the woman who had willingly given him her heart and body only for him to betray her trust.

Icy regret coursed through his veins. Rey was no longer the starry-eyed virgin she had been when they’d met and Ben wouldn’t be surprised if she’d had a handful of sexual partners since then. After all, he’d inadvertently made it possible for her to have sex with no strings attached. His mind instantly conjured up unwelcome images of Rey and Phillip kissing passionately, their bodies close and naked limbs entwined.

_No, damn it!_

He gave a loud groan of frustration, allowed himself one more glance at her apartment before driving away to his empty penthouse, back to his lonely existence without Rey by his side. Sure, Ben could surround himself with people but the thought left him cold...deep in his heart, he knew that he could never return to his previous lifestyle. A shallow life of endless parties with the wealthy elite, exotic locations, extravagant gifts no longer interested him. Not when he wanted to sit out on the edge of a cliff, listening to the sounds of nature and enjoying the array of stars scattered across the black sky...with Rey cuddled beside him. It was torture, to be near her but not _with_ her. Ben had never before missed a woman or let one assume enough importance to him that he was lonely without her, but that was the predicament he found himself in now. Worse still was that Rey wasn’t absent from his life; he saw her most days of the week, in and out of the office but she was _absent_ from the part of his life where he wanted her most...in his home, in his bed, in his arms. 

Before he fell into a dreamless sleep, Ben wondered if this would be his life from now on, pining after the one who’d gotten away, the one who could have given him all the happiness in the world, the one he’d intentionally pushed away because of his own arrogance and selfishness. 

A buzzing sound jarred Ben from slumber, jerking his body upright as he automatically reached over to the intercom that connected directly to the front desk.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Mr. Solo, but we have Ms. Erso-Andor here requesting entrance.”

“Is she okay?” Ben’s grogginess disappeared at once. He glanced at the clock, noting the time. 1:42 AM. _What the fuck?_

“She seems a little inebriated.”

“I’m only slightly buzzed, Ben.” he heard Rey say in the background.

“Hang on, I’m coming down.” Since he slept in the nude, Ben had to find some clothes to throw on before rushing towards the lobby. His frantic heartbeat and worry was only slightly less pronounced when he saw Rey standing at the reception desk wearing the same outfit she’d worn on her date. She looked less polished, her hair tumbling messily down to her shoulders and her makeup smudged. Ben thought she looked beautiful as always and she was smiling dazedly at him...yep, she was drunk.

“Hi, Ben…” Rey moved towards him only to stumble clumsily on her heels and landing into Ben’s awaiting arms. “Oops…” She giggled, her face flushed as she looked up at him.

Ben saw her glazed eyes and cursed inwardly. He managed a nod at the security guard before guiding Rey towards the elevator. She stumbled again and Ben shook his head in frustration before lifting her into his strong arms. Rey immediately looped her arms around his neck before nuzzling her face into the warmth of his chest. She sighed, breathing in his musky, clean scent...all male, all Ben. 

It had been a long, long time since she’d been in his arms, been this close to him. She hadn’t been held like this since that night in Lake Takodana. It had been purely fucking during their arrangement, no snuggling or cuddling or anything remotely resembling affection. Aside from that one dance at Finn and Poe’s wedding, they had never even touched as friends. No platonic hugs or kisses, not even accidental brushing of the hands. But tonight she was in his arms, being carried bridal-style into the elevator, held high against his chest as if she were the most precious, fragile thing in the world. She sighed again, her body completely relaxed in his arms. 

Feeling beyond content, she let her mind drift, allowing herself to live in the fantasy she’d previously let go of. In her dream, he wanted her, cherished her, worshiped her...loved her...passionately, unconditionally, wholeheartedly. Yes, this Ben was her lover once again, the one who’d taken her on romantic dates in the park, biking and hiking, strolling through museums and even rock-climbing. Her understanding, gentle and tall future husband who had waited an eternity for her, who had kissed her tenderly. Soft, heated kisses that warmed her soul and ignited her passion. Tears slipped unknowingly down her cheeks in remembrance of the sweet memories and touches they’d shared. She had been so happy, so in love. Only for reality to come crashing down on her that fateful morning he had coldly sent her away. When he’d shown his true colors.

“Rey, sweetheart, are you okay?” Ben walked into a guest bedroom. He flipped on the light switch, illuminating the room in a warm glow before depositing her gently on the bed. He looked at her face, his breath catching at the sight of her tears. A sharp pain pierced his heart and his lump formed in his throat. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Did something happen tonight? Did he - did that bastard - do something?” His hands fisted as his brain quickly ran through the different scenarios in which he could harm Phillip for hurting her.

Rey shook her head, averting her face as soft sobs racked her small body. The alcohol combined with events earlier in the evening made her ultra sensitive, her emotions wreaking havoc on her senses.

“Sweetheart? Do I need to find him and kill him?” Ben sat down beside her, his eyes searching her body for signs of injury. He found no visible marks but that did nothing to dampen his rage.

“No, Ben, he didn’t hurt me or anything. The opposite, actually. Phillip is a very nice man but I couldn’t - I couldn’t - “ Her voice broke as fresh tears flooded her eyes.

Ben lifted a trembling hand and smoothed her hair, keeping the contact light as if he were afraid to touch her. “Tell me, sweetheart,” He urged soothingly.

“I thought I was ready to take the relationship to the next level, Ben, but I couldn't do it. He’s hot and a great kisser and I thought, tonight will be the night.” Rey laughed humorlessly. “I went cold and stiff before I’d even undressed. My body just shut down and so he left. He wasn’t mad, just disappointed but he seemed to understand something I didn’t.” She wished she’d felt flutters in her stomach, or warmth in her chest at his presence but Rey had felt neither. It was too bad, really, as Phillip was attractive, charming and a great kisser. He just wasn’t for her. Rey had watched Phillip leave with a mixture of regret and sadness. Had they met last year or maybe next year, when she didn’t have the dark cloud of Ben’s betrayal still over her head, they might have had a chance.

Ben knew it was selfish of him but he could not suppress the relief that went through him at her words. Rey had not slept with Phillip! 

“He told me to be honest with myself…” Rey drew in a long breath, trying to compose herself before sitting up and turning to meet his gaze. She almost flinched, a sweet poignancy making her heart squeeze. He was so beautiful, this man who had not only hurt her unbearably but had also introduced her to love. Not just the profoundly tender side of love but all of its facets...passion, affection, pain, hurt, desire, the good and bad. For all the heartache he’d caused her, she knew that she would never stop loving him nor did she want to. If all they could be were ‘friends’, that was okay but she needed him to know how much his actions had affected her. She had to admit her feelings to herself as well as to him. That might be the only way for her to get past this emotional hurtle - her fear of getting physically intimate. And this magnetically compelling man was the sole culprit.

“I don’t understand, sweetheart,” Ben licked his dry lips, leaning back slightly so they were sitting face-to-face, their knees barely touching. 

For minutes, they sat there, staring into each other’s eyes, Rey’s an open book as she reveals her pain, her anguish as well as her inner strength and confusion. Ben knew she was opening herself to him, leaving herself completely vulnerable. His heart swelled even as a sweet pain pierced it...he had never loved her more than in that moment. She was the light, shining as brightly as the sun, warm and funny and compassionate but also stubborn, willful and courageously defiant. And yet, she retained her dignity...no matter how much he’d tried to get Rey to defy her own principles, she had never truly let go of her pride but she was not arrogant, never arrogant. Not Rey.

“I fell in love with you, Ben.” She confessed, her gaze unwavering. “You know that my childhood was unconventional, growing up in a commune, then in a cult and then traveling the world in a caravan, never really having a stationary home. I was surrounded by people but I always felt _alone_ and lonely. Of course, my parents loved me but they were also very much in love with each other as well as their own addictions, so most of the time, I was left to entertain myself. I’d never even gone to a real school until later, when I was in the foster system and that was not...pleasant. I resigned myself to the fact that maybe I just wasn’t meant to have friends.” She paused, shrugging slightly.

“But when I came here, Rose and Finn became my best friends and things were good, really good. I thought maybe I wasn’t so unlikable, after all. And then I met you and you were so handsome. And interested in me. Me - a nobody from nowhere. I couldn’t believe it, that you - this intelligent, wonderful man actually wanted to talk to me.” Rey blinked back tears, laughing slightly as she remembered their first dates, their flirty banter, as well as their deep conversations about anything and everything. Lies, all of it had been lies...on his part.

“What I did _not_ realize was that it had all been a game to you, Ben. _I_ was a game to you, nothing more. I was an easy target too, starved for love, for attention and maybe you were bored, so you thought, what the hell, why not. You took my virginity which I gave willingly and then you ghosted me.” Rey snorted at her own naivete. “But I still loved you, Ben. I still waited like an idiot, hoping, until...until I found that picture of you on Bazine’s instagram. Making out on some yacht in the tropics barely two days after you escorted me out of the hotel. It hit me then, Ben, just how _little_ you thought of me...which was not at all.” She held up a hand, motioning for him not to interrupt. She was grateful for the liquid courage, knowing that without alcohol, she might never have had the nerve to reveal so much of herself, to bare her soul to him.

“While I gave myself completely to you, my body, my heart, you did neither, Ben. You took but never gave any of yourself to me. And then...you threw me away, like I was yesterday’s rubbish...like I was nothing. And I felt like that unwanted child again, the one left behind while my father gambled and my mother drank...the one that was shipped to all those foster homes because I wasn’t ever wanted anywhere by anyone.”

The grief in her voice tore at his heart, and her words slashed him like knives. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to absorb her pain and somehow make her feel his love for her but she wasn’t finished yet. Ben gulped, never feeling so damn helpless in his life. He watched her, his eyes stung with remorse, seeing for himself the true extent of what he’d done.

“I was just beginning to move on when you came back into my life and I thought - hoped that you were going to grovel and beg and tell me you’d made a mistake and did love me, after all. But, no, all you were offering me was a purely sexual affair. Then I thought, okay, maybe I could do it, just to show you that I could but in the end, the whole thing just blew up in my face.” Rey’s laugh was slightly hysterical, tears streaming down her lovely face. “You ruined me for other men, Ben. I went to therapy, you know, in London. She suggested I ease slowly into a new relationship but I can’t do it. I froze up when Phillip tried to touch me tonight.” She paused, taking a few moments to calm herself again before continuing.

“That arrangement almost broke me...made me feel like I had become _that_ person, that cold, unemotional person who can be intimate with just _anyone_. It almost broke me...but,” Rey’s beautiful eyes were wide as they stared into Ben’s chocolate brown ones, a small smile on her face. It was gut-wrenchingly sad and wistful. “But, honestly, I know that I would never have let you touch me if I didn’t love you, Ben. I _am_ that woman, Ben. I am unable to detach my emotions from my body. I can only let a man I love touch me in that manner...and, unfortunately for me, _you_ are that man. After everything you’ve done to me, your savage disregard, your cruelty and neglect, I still love you.”

Ben could only watch, his mouth slightly open and hope blossoming in his heart at her confession, as she pushed herself up to her knees, her eyes on level with his. He gasped, feeling her soft fingers as they traced the hard contours of his face. Her touch sent shivers down his spine. God, he loved her! So damn much but he had also hurt her! If it took him until his last breath, he would do everything within his power to undo the heartache, the sorrow he’d caused her.

“That’s why I need you to make love to me, Ben. I need you to erase the memories of that arrangement we had. I know you don’t love me but, if you care just a little bit...can you pretend?” Rey cupped his jaw tenderly, her hand shaking slightly as her eyes searched his, pleading. 

“I cannot, Rey.”

“You don’t care even just a little or you can’t pretend to?”

“I can’t make love to you, sweetheart. Not like this,”

She drew away from him, a fine trembling beginning to shake her body as she stared at him, at the hard, attractive face and the stunning beauty of his dark eyes, the same face and eyes that had captivated her from the first time she’d seen him. She loved him but he did not love her, not at all! The trembling grew worse, and suddenly all of her anger and hurt at his betrayal burst forth with a vengeance, shattering her control. She turned away from him, tears streaming down her face at his rejection. A hoarse cry erupted from her chest as she moved, needing to distance herself from him. She didn’t get far, as strong arms enveloped her, pulling her into his body.

“Sweetheart, please…” 

“No, Ben! You do not get to call me that! You caused this - gave me intimacy issues and you won’t help me fix it! You can’t even pretend to care enough to make love to me...am I so undesirable to you, Ben? You used to want me, can’t you again?” Rey knew she sounded pitiful but she _couldn’t_ stop...not after he’d rejected her love yet again.

“Rey...you don’t know what you want...you’re drunk. I can’t take advantage of you.” He said raggedly, brushing his lips against her hair. “God, if I could only undo it all!” It was a bitter cry from the depths of his soul.

Rey shook her head, hearing the sincerity and anguish in his voice but not allowing herself to believe. This man had hurt her so many times. “No, no, I don’t believe you, Ben. You’ve rejected me so many times...I can’t -”

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he pleaded, loosening his hold so that she could easily turn to face him. 

She gasped, seeing her own pain and anguish reflected in his eyes, and something else...something she wasn’t ready yet to acknowledge.

“I’d like nothing more than to make love with you, sweetheart. But you’re not in the state of mind to consent. We’ll discuss this again in the morning when you’re not influenced by alcohol, hm?”

Rey nodded meekly, the fight leaving her just as quickly as it'd arrived, her body sagging weakly into his.

“How about we sleep together, just sleeping?”

Again, Rey nodded.

“Do you want to wash up?” 

“Yes, please,” 

Ben lifted her gently and carried her over to the attached bathroom, depositing her on her feet. “Do you need help?” 

Rey bit her lip, shaking her head. “Ah...do you have something I can sleep in?”

Ben pulled off his shirt and handed it to her. “There should be toiletries already on the vanity. Help yourself. I’ll wait out here.” 

Rey quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth. Then she slipped off her dress and bra but left her underwear. She pulled on his shirt, smiling slightly when it reached to just above her knees. When she opened the door, Ben was there waiting for her. Even in her exhausted, still slightly buzzed state, the sight of his naked, powerful torso made the bottom drop out of her stomach. He lifted her again, carrying her over to the bed and placing her between the cool sheets. Then he stepped out of his pants and came to join her totally, gloriously naked. 

“Just sleep, sweetheart. I’m going to hold you, that’s all.” He drew her against him, his nakedness searing her like a furnace, the warmth enveloping her and sinking into her. His arms were living bonds, wrapped around her, and the hollow of his shoulder made a resting place for her head.

“Go to sleep, sweetheart,” he whispered, and she did.

Hours later, she woke to total darkness and an urgent need for the bathroom. She fought out of the grasp of his arms and the tangle of the sheets to stumble, still half-asleep, to the bathroom. When she came out he was leaning against the wall, waiting. Without a word he took her back to bed and once again settled her in his arms. Rey burrowed her face against the warm strength of his neck, inhaling the unforgettable, faintly musky scent of his skin, and fell asleep again, the long periods of unconsciousness just what she needed for both body and spirit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? I know I didn't end the chapter on a cliff-hanger but I am exhausted and wanted to get the chapter up! Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers...thanks for all the lovely comments for my recovery. I am feeling much better, thankfully! This chapter took me a long time to finish with this being my tenth edit...I wasn't happy with my other drafts. This work is un'beta'd. As always, comments and kudos are much appreciated to keep me chugging these fanfics out. Enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven**

Rey had never ever been a coward, preferring to face her battles head-on and well-prepared. But, for the first time in her life, she’d chosen the easy way out - leaving Ben still asleep in the wee hours before dawn. Thankfully, most of the city were still in bed, and were not witness to her walk of shame. Rey had been numb during her Uber home, not allowing herself to dwell on her pitiful behavior until she was alone and naked in the shower, willing the hot water to wash away the cobwebs and last vestiges of alcohol. It worked, allowing her to recall with almost perfect clarity her pathetic and emotionally revealing confession, her plea for Ben to _pretend_ to make love to her - to pretend to _love_ her - and his subsequent rejection. Of course, he’d use her inebriated state as an excuse but Rey recognized it for what it was...Ben no longer wanted her. At least, not in _that_ way. He only wanted to be friends and barely even that. More likely, he wanted to atone for his earlier abhorrent behavior and she’d gone and blown their fragile relationship with her foolish declaration of love. How was she going to face the man come Monday morning, she groaned.

Though, Rey was realizing now as she toweled herself dry, more than forty floors separated them and, aside from his presence on her first dates and their infrequent hiking adventures and planetarium visits, they really did not see each other much at all. Unless he sought her out - which was rarely - or she sought him out, their paths did not cross during office hours. Oh, who was she kidding! He was the fucking CEO and they shared mutual friends not to mention their families were close. She couldn’t hide from him forever. 

Frowning, Rey strolled out of her bathroom dressed in her bathrobe and her hair still a little damp. She was a sensible, intelligent woman - so what if she’d made a fool of herself to the man she loved? At least, she had closure, knowing her feelings were not - or will ever be - reciprocated. Her therapist had mentioned Rey’s intimacy blockage might ease up after letting Ben know how his actions had affected her. It was too soon to tell but, already, Rey knew she felt better now than she had when she’d ended their arrangement. No tears were shed but she was mortified, of course, and would need days...weeks...months to face him again without feeling embarrassed. In the meantime, she was hungry and was practical enough to know better than to make life-changing decisions on an empty stomach.

Rey had just finished her hearty breakfast of grilled ham, egg and cheese on toast when a flurry of knocks sounded at her door. Still dressed in her robe, she peered into the peephole and gasped. Before she thought better of it, she swung the door open and allowed her guest entrance. When she turned to face him after shutting the door, she froze, seeing the reckless glitter in his eyes as he came toward her, and her mind screamed a warning.

“Why...what are you doing here, Ben?”

Ben flinched, his head snapping back as though he’d been slapped. There was an iron grimness in the set of his jaw, and every powerful muscle of his body was tense. Rey didn’t know if he was angry at her or…disappointed.

“Is your opinion of me so low that you didn’t even think that I’d look for you after everything that happened last night, sweetheart?” His voice was low and raspy with hurt and self-deprecation.

“Well...I…” Rey could only look at him, her brows crinkled in confusion. “It’s not that at all, Ben. But, I thought - I thought you’d made your feelings for me clear last night when you rejected my advances.”

Ben groaned, shoving his fingers through his hair in exasperation. He advanced towards her but stopped abruptly when she took a step back. His jaw tightened, his mouth thinning at her reaction to him. “Sweetheart...can we sit down and talk, please?” 

“Would you like some coffee or tea?” She gestured towards the kitchen table before going to get another mug and the percolator, needing to keep her hands busy. 

“Coffee would be great, thank you,” Ben watched her intently as she performed the task. He held the mug in his large hands, waiting for her to take the seat across from him before he spoke again. “Why did you leave this morning, Rey? Why did you sneak out on me?”

Rey flushed, glancing away from those beautiful cognac-colored eyes to stare at the steaming liquid in her mug. She’d given him an easy out, leaving before things became even more awkward than it already was so why was he here…

“I didn’t think you’d wanted me there. After all, I did crash at your place, completely uninvited and unwanted...the least I could do was get out of your hair before you felt obligated to drive me home or something.” Rey shrugged her answer, still not looking at him. “You’ve been such a good friend to me the past few months and I had to go and ruin everything...I’m sorry, for what it’s worth.”

“Do you remember everything from last night, Rey?” 

Rey nodded, taking a small sip before answering. “I do.”

“You were drunk.” It wasn’t a question.

“Alcohol may have lowered my inhibitions but I meant everything I said.”

“Sweetheart, can you please look at me?” Ben waited for her hazel eyes to lock with his before sighing. “Are you completely lucid now, Rey?”

“Yes. I’m not hungover.”

“Good.” Then he grinned, relief evident on his handsome face.

Rey’s brows pleated in confusion as she waited for him to speak but he was just looking at her, staring deeply into her eyes. There was a warmth there she hadn’t seen before, tender yet piercing, soft yet intense. 

“I need to explain myself to you, Rey.” He rasped after many more minutes ticked past. “Firstly, that picture with Bazine was taken weeks before I ever met you. She just didn’t post it up until later. I swear and if you don’t believe me, I have proof! You see, after Lake Takodana, I never even left the country. I was busy taking over my duties as CEO...you can ask Maz, Mitaka, my parents...I barely left the city much less the country nor did I sleep with anyone else. I went on dates, yes, to try to get over you - to prove to myself that what I had with you wasn’t a rarity but it _was_ , sweetheart. I could never see anyone else but you, Rey, _just you_.”

“But you - you propositioned me!” Rey burst out, unsure why he was saying these things to her. They sounded very much like explanations for his past behavior, his vile mistreatment of her. “You didn’t contact me for two months, and then, when we saw each other again, you wanted a sordid affair!”

Ben laughed humorlessly. “I’m so sorry for that, sweetheart. I lied to myself, for self-preservation. The whole time I’d been worried about how you would deal with a purely sexual affair when, in the end, the joke was on me. _I_ could never separate my emotions from my body. Not with you, Rey...never with you. I am so sorry, sweetheart, for my callous behavior. I’ve hurt you so much because of my fucking pride!” He paused to draw in a shaky breath. “I can’t bear to hurt you again, Rey...so I was willing to just be your friend. I was ready to live the rest of my life near you but never with you. A life of torture seeing you everyday but not being _with_ you!”

“Why would it be torture?” Rey was too scared to hope even as she opened herself to the possibility, to finally acknowledge the unknown emotion lurking in his dark eyes. Eyes that were open, eyes that revealed his innermost thoughts, his very soul. 

“Because I love you,” Ben said hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion. 

Rey’s lips trembled slightly. Dare she believe him? After everything…no, it couldn’t be. It was guilt. He felt guilty for having hurt her. Surely, he was confusing love with guilt...

The acid burning of tears in her eyes blurred his image, then the tears overflowed and began to roll slowly down her cheeks. “Why are you doing this to me?” she whispered harshly, painfully. “Haven’t you hurt me enough?”

“What?! I love you, Rey -”

“Guilt! That’s what you’re feeling, not love. You don’t have to keep lying to me. I’ve already forgiven you for your past actions. There’s no need for you to lie about - about loving me just to ease your guilty conscience.”

“Sweetheart...I have never ever said those words to a woman before...just you. _I_ _love_ _you_ , Rey...hopelessly, completely, irrevocably. I fell in love with you a long, long time ago but my pride and selfishness made me a fool.”

“How can I believe you?”

“I don’t expect you to, sweetheart, but know that you are the only woman I will ever love. I will earn your trust. I will spend the rest of my life atoning for my actions...and showing you how much you mean to me.” He reached across the table to encompass her trembling hands in his, his thumbs rubbing them softly, as his eyes continued to show her his every thought, his every emotion. “If it’s time you want, I can wait...if it’s space you want, I can do that too, but know that I’ll be waiting, Rey.”

Rey heard the break in his voice, saw the plea in his eyes and knew her answer. Some might see her as weak, forgiving this man after the pain and heartache he’d put her through but she didn’t care. This was her life and she loved this complicated and compelling man. Loved him almost from the very beginning when she’d thought he was Kylo Ren...and, really, was Kylo any different from Ben? No, he was not. Rey had realized not that long into their tentative friendship that Ben Solo had not lied to her when he’d dated her as Kylo Ren. He hiked, biked, loved all things astronomy and his conversations with her _had_ been real. 

“You would do that for me? No matter how long it takes me to trust you again?” She asked.

Ben nodded. “Whatever you want, sweetheart...and...and if, in the end, I am not what you want,” His breath hitched, catching on his raw emotions. “If you decide that you cannot learn to trust me, then I will back off. I just want you to be happy and if it means without me by your side, then I’ll gladly go away. The choice is yours...as long as _you_ are happy, I’ll be content.” He stopped and cleared his throat as if it was clogged.

Rey smiled, tears swimming in her eyes at his selflessness. Taking a deep breath, she stood up from her seat, removing her hands from his and walking around to stand in front of him. She giggled giddily at the confusion on his face before she leaned down to press a soft kiss on his lips, her hands cupping his jaw tenderly. She smiled against his lips, feeling a tremor shake his strong body then he was kissing her back, pulling her into an embrace.

“Rey…?” Ben breathed her name when she lifted her head, his eyes searching her for clarification.

“I love you, Ben. Just you.” Her smile was effervescent, luminous in her happiness.

“I adore you, Rey. So much, sweetheart.”

He covered her lips with his mouth, and they both groaned from the light contact. It had been months since they’d kissed and the mere touch affected Ben more deeply than any sex act. Ben felt her lips part beneath his and he kissed her harder, tilting her head back even more so he could slant his mouth across hers again and again. Rey helplessly opened her mouth to accept his tongue, her arms entwined around his neck. No man should taste this sweet and heady, but he did and she cried a little because she had been so close to throwing it all away.

Ben lifted his mouth from hers a fraction of an inch, his eyes hot. “I will never hurt you again, sweetheart. I promise.” Another kiss, this one soft and tender as he tried to better convey his emotions not just with his words but his actions. “I love you. I love you so much, sweetheart.” 

He was holding her face as if she were made of glass, delicately, lovingly and then he drew in a long breath. “Rey,” he began gravely. “I would like two daughters with wobbly hazel eyes and thick horn-rimmed glasses on their little noses and two boys with your beautiful sable hair and fiery courage, so if you can manage…” He saw the tears of joyous disbelief filling her eyes and kissed her cheek, her chin, her nose. “I want it all...I want you in my arms, in my bed, in my home. Sweetheart, I don’t think anything but marriage will do. I want you to share my name, bear our children…” Ben whispered thickly, jarred by the same emotions that were shaking her. 

A shattering feeling of tenderness made Rey’s fingers tremble as she caressed his alabaster face, gliding over every striking feature. Love glowed in his brown eyes...intense, humbling, passionate, gentle. He loved her! Ben Solo loved her, Rey Erso-Andor!

“Please,” he said, his deep voice raw and vulnerable. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, Ben.” She tugged his head down to hers. “Yes,” she breathed against his lips before kissing him.

Ben groaned in exaltation. He returned her kiss, holding her for the exquisite thrust of his tongue, his mouth slanting over hers again and again. When they finally broke away to come up for air, they were smiling, laughing in between their panting. Then Ben stood up, carrying her easily to place her on the couch. He stayed kneeling in front of her.

“What…?” Rey gasped at the small velvet box he held in his large hands.

“I absolutely adore you, Rey Erso-Andor. I know that I do not deserve you but I will do everything in my power - for as long as I live - to spoil you rotten, to cherish you, to protect you and, most of all, to love you even more than I do now.”

“I already said ‘yes’, Ben!” She cried, happy tears streaming down her face at his romantic declaration.

“I know but I wanted to be sure.” He opened the box to reveal a sparkling pave ring with a large round diamond on a thin platinum band. It was simple, elegant, timeless. “This was my grandmother’s ring...if you want a different one, we can pick it out together…?” He said quickly, uncertain if she liked it or not.

“I love it!” Her hand shook when he grasped them to slide the antique ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit.

Ben kissed her hand reverently. “Thank you, sweetheart. Uh - since we are starting this new chapter in our life together, I have a confession to make.” He looked rather sheepish before reaching into his breast pocket to pull out a thin gold chain. 

“My aunt’s bracelet! Oh, you found it!” Rey held out her wrist for him to put it on for her.

“Yeah...about that...”

“You lied about not finding it, didn’t you?” 

“Its always in my shirt pocket...” He stammered, blushing. “I needed to keep it close to my heart…”

Rey smirked, her eyes twinkling. “You really are an idiot, aren’t you? You’ve loved me all this time and didn’t recognize it for what it was…”

“I can be the biggest idiot, Rey...so long as I’m _your_ idiot.” He fell backwards, sprawled onto the floor when Rey pushed herself on top of him, peppering his face with kisses. Laughing roughly, he held her face in his hands as he gave her the same treatment. “I love you, I love you,” he punctuated each phrase with a kiss. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue filled with wedding, smut and fluff coming next...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, readers. Sorry for the lateness...but life, work and COVID-19 has kept me distracted. Here is the conclusion of the story. Please enjoy!

**Chapter Twelve**

Being super wealthy and well-connected had many perks as Rey witnessed first-hand in the following months. It had started with a weekend visit to see her parents almost immediately after their engagement - on a private plane, of course. Han, Leia and Luke had come along for the ride with Leia taking over wedding planning duty, contacting only the best in the business. Rey and Ben had been all too happy to hand over the reigns, their only request being the venue. Lake Takodana. Ben had wanted to redo that weekend from long ago, to give Rey a new memory full of love and happiness. Ben had also insisted on the earliest possible date, anxious for Rey to make an honest man of him.

With one more month to go until their summer wedding, and Rey fully moved into Ben’s penthouse, she found herself at the university to meet with her advisor. She’d left her position at the company to focus on attaining her law degree much to Ben’s insistence and support. She’d opted to take most of her courses online with just a few classes that required her to be on-campus but even then, it was for three days a week at most. Dressed in a soft yellow tee, army green cropped khakis with a light denim jacket and black Converses, she left her advisor’s office, heading towards her car. If she drove quickly enough, she might beat traffic to make it home in time before Ben. Glancing down at her phone, she smiled at the text messages Ben had sent her all morning, almost all of them heart face emojis and the like. She didn’t see the person she collided with in her distraction.

“Oh, bloody hell...I’m so so sorry...ah…” Rey stammered, bending down to retrieve her backpack. She stood up, lifting her head and gasped, her cheeks reddening at the sight that awaited her.

Ben grinned, revealing adorably crooked teeth. “It was totally my fault...ah...I didn’t get your name.”

“Rey. I’m Rey.” She held out her hand, her eyes smiling into his.

“Ben Solo, nice to meet you,” Ben clasped her small hand in his much bigger one, then turned it over to kiss her palm softly. He pulled her close, lacing their fingers together before leaning down to her parted lips.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work, babe?” Rey asked when he finally lifted his lips from hers. She let him take her bag which he draped over his shoulder.

“I took the rest of the day off,” He guided her towards the local cafe. “Mitaka drove me here so he can take your car back since I have every intention of driving my fiancee home.”

Comprehension dawned on her the moment they stepped into the small cafe, causing her to giggle slightly and lean her head into his arm. “Are we reenacting our first meeting, Ben? Is this why you picked my outfit today - this particular outfit, hm?” 

His grin was mischievous, tightening his hold on her hand before placing their order...iced coffee with cream and three pumps of French Vanilla syrup and a black coffee for him. It was the same exact order from that day... 

“Happy anniversary, sweetheart,” Ben whispered into her ear. “One year ago today, I met the love of my life.”

Rey shivered, feeling his hot breath blow over her neck. “I...um, I didn’t realize it was a special day, Ben.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart.” Ben assured her before retrieving their drinks. “Let’s go for a nice walk, shall we?”

After dropping off her bag in the car, they spent the rest of the afternoon walking the main street, checking out the local boutiques before taking a quiet path in the well-maintained park by the river. They reminiscenced about their first meeting; Rey’s heart fluttering at his poetic first impression of her and pretty much confirming that it _had_ been love at first sight for him. Despite her younger years, she’d been the mature one, Rey had snorted at him. Ben had pulled her behind a tree to kiss her senseless for her teasing. Before things got too hot and heavy, her stomach had growled, breaking through their pent-up sexual frustration. It had been Ben’s idea to abstain until their wedding night - not an easy feat considering their living together and sharing a bed. But they’d been able to withstand temptation, indulging in kisses and heavy petting. 

“Another month, sweetheart,” Ben growled against her neck.

“Barely even four weeks, really,” Rey nodded, hugging his middle, as she forced her breathing to calm.

“More like twenty days, if you think about it,” Ben stared straight ahead, trying to focus on something - anything - that would dampen his desire.

“Yep, you’re right...and, with my parents coming over and all the last-minute preparations, it will feel like fifteen days.” 

“Thank God for that! I can’t wait until I legally belong to you, sweetheart!”

Rey beamed up at him. “Yep, you’ll be all mine…”

“And what about you - ?” Ben moved to tickle her torso lightly.

“No - stop - ah -” Rey jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist, giving him no choice but to grab hold of her lest she fall. Her smile was incandescent as she looked at him. “I’ve been yours since the beginning, Ben Solo. I love you.” That earned her a hard, open-mouth kiss.

“I love you.” Ben pulled away, dropping his forehead to hers. “But we really should get dinner before I ravish you right here behind this tree!”

Rey slid off of him reluctantly. “Well, we can’t have that. I want to be a defender, not an offender! Now, come on, let’s go get some Korean barbecue! I’m starving, babe.”

  
***

Their wedding day proved all the meteorologists’ predictions wrong. After a full week of thunder and heavy rain with the day before filled with threatening black clouds that, thankfully had not amounted to anything, the morning of their special day promised sunny skies, a light breeze and mildly warm temperatures. It was the perfect June day for a wedding. Their initial plan to have the ceremony outside underneath an old oak tree was going forward as planned. 

“Here, eat, Rey,” As her matron of honor, Rose Tico-Hux, had made it her priority to keep the bride well-fed, not wanting the risk of a hangry Rey. “Open, please,”

Rey rolled her eyes before obeying, allowing her best friend to feed her some fluffy scrambled eggs. “Thanks, hon,” She said before turning back to face the mirror, her head guided gently by the celebrity hair stylist Leia had hired for the day. It was yet another perk of being super wealthy, along with booking the luxury hotel for the entire wedding party and guests, ordering custom dresses for Rey, her bridesmaids as well as for Jyn and Leia herself, all in three months. There was also a team of professional make-up artists, one for the bride and her talented assistants for the bridal party of four. Rose and Finn served as matron and man of honor, respectively while Paige and Kaydel served as bridesmaids. Amilyn Holdo’s granddaughter, five-year-old Jaina, was the flower girl while her twin brother, Jacen, was the ringbearer. 

“How are you feeling, Kirey?” Jyn asked, patting her hand gently. She looked lovely in her hunter green, floor-length gown with a V-neck and mikado silk sash that defined her small waist. Her mother’s naturally creamy complexion had a nice flush, a sign of her good health. 

“Happy, Mum.” Rey answered honestly. It was the truth...and if the last three months were an indication of how her life with Ben was going to be, then she doubted that she’d ever stop smiling. Ben had been true to his word, spoiling Rey rotten with gifts, food and attention, supporting her decision to go back to school, listening to her doubts and opening himself to her as well. He held nothing of himself back, asking her for advice about work, valuing her opinion even if they didn’t always agree, and just sharing his day with her. But it was the quiet moments Rey loved best, when they would be relaxing on the couch, her head resting in the crook of his arm reading _The Man Who Folded Himself_ for the hundredth time while Ben read through the latest issue of _Science Today_ , his fingers interlaced with hers.

“I can see that you are, darling,” Jyn blinked back tears. “I was really worried about you for a while there but now, I couldn’t be happier, knowing you’ve found a worthy man.”

“Barely, Jyn...my son is just barely worthy of darling Rey,” Leia cut in, grinning. She looked elegant in an emerald green lace and chiffon dress that grazed the floor. Like Jyn, she was wearing a simple corsage of succulent and white calla lily. Leia and the wedding planner had outdone themselves in the black, pale green and white decor drawing inspiration from the lush greenery and rustic nature of the venue.

“I had my doubts initially, Rey, but after seeing how good you guys are together…” Finn couldn’t finish his sentence, wiping at the corners of his eyes and huffing dramatically.

“Don’t you start, Finn...I expected you to hold it together until the ceremony, at least!” Rey took deep breaths, fanning at her eyes to prevent the waterworks. “You’re my man of honor! You are supposed to be making sure _I_ don’t fall apart!”

Everyone laughed at that until the wedding planner, the ever efficient Ahsoka Tano, came into the bridal suite to remind them of the timeline. The remaining two hours passed by in a flurry of activity - all captured by a world-renowned photographer - as everyone helped Rey get ready. While not ostentatious by any means, she still required most of her bridesmaids to help her into the simple ivory halter gown made of luxurious satin that left her shoulders, arms and upper back bare. There was a thin organza band at the waist, lightly encrusted with Swarovski crystals which gathered at the back into a stunning bow-knot before flaring out to a sweeping train. Her sable hair was pulled back into a braided chignon with tiny tendrils to frame her stunning face, showing off her long, graceful neck and diamond drop earrings - a wedding present from Leia and Han. Her make-up was minimal as her complexion was smooth and golden-hued already, the stylist choosing to accentuate her large hazel eyes and wide lips instead. When her father came for her, tears in his deep brown eyes and his chest puffed out in pride, Rey was a giddy mess of nerves...happy nerves.

“You look beautiful, _mija_ …” Cassian breathed, offering his arm before escorting her down the grand staircase towards the double doors that led out to the ceremony site.

“Thank you, Papa.” She clutched the small bouquet of white and cream roses, calla lilies and natural succulents.

Rose adjusted the delicate elbow-length veil attached above Rey’s chignon and smoothed out her train one last time before taking her place beside Finn for the bridal procession. Jyn had already taken her seat at the front pew, across the aisle from where Leia and Han sat with Luke. Rey’s adviser and Ben’s old professor, Andrew Snoke, stood in front of the large oak tree, ready to perform his duty as officiant. From where she waited, Rey could see Ben standing with his groomsmen, Hux and Mitaka, with Poe and Phasma as his best man and groomswoman, respectively. The men were all dressed similarly in dark suits and solid colored ties that complemented their succulent boutonnieres while Phasma looked stunning in a matching suit dress. Ben also wore a dark suit but his tie was striped green and black and his boutonniere matched Rey’s bouquet. His dark hair was wavy, neatly trimmed to fall just below his ears and his face freshly shaven. Rey thought he looked so handsome, standing tall and confident as he waited for her.

“It’s our turn, _mija_...ready?” Cass patted her hand reassuringly.

“Yes, Papa,” Rey drew in a steady breath before walking out the door, nodding to a smiling Ahsoka.

As the live string band started playing the main theme music to _Contact_ by Alan Silvestri, the three hundred guests, including Maz, Chewie, Amilyn Holdo, Jessika, Tallie as well as many of Rey’s university friends, mutual work colleagues and esteemed politicians, powerful CEOs and some celebrity friends of the Solos, all gathered to their feet. There were murmurs of approval, teary smiles, cell phones held up to record and flashes from the photographer and his team but Rey didn’t notice. Her grin was wide and radiant, her hazel eyes shining with pure love as she saw Ben’s face, full of awe and wonder and complete adoration. As she drew nearer, she saw his chin tremble slightly and tears glistened in his dark eyes but the grin never left his face. She loved that adorable, crooked smile of his. 

“You look...wow…” Ben breathed when Rey stopped in front of him.

“You, too, babe.” Rey winked at him, feeling light-headed and stupidly happy.

They never broke eye contact once, facing each other while Professor Snoke welcomed their guests before launching into a speech about how delighted he was that two of his best students had found love with each other. The crowd had laughed when he took credit for their union as he’d been responsible for Rey and Ben’s initial meeting at the university. When it was time for the couple to recite their personalized vows, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house...even Phasma and Hux were dabbing at the corners of their eyes. 

“Rey. _Thank you._ Thank you for taking a chance on this former cynical Lothario and filling my life with unending joy and unconditional love. To say that I am the luckiest man in the galaxy would be an understatement. Although today marks the start to the rest of our lives, I know it will not be enough time with you. I will not take our time together for granted. And because words cannot do it, I promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much I love you. 

Rey, I promise to encourage you to follow your dreams. I promise to hold your hand through the good times and through the bad times. I promise to be loyal and faithful and to put you before all else. I promise to spend my days making every effort to deserve you. And I promise that when we are old and gray, we will look back on our lives together and we have no regrets...From this day forward, sweetheart, you will never walk alone.”

Ben’s voice had cracked a few times and he’d had to take the handkerchief Poe offered him to dry his tears. Still his eyes never left Rey’s. His heart swelled when she recited her vows back to him.

“Ben, I knew from the very moment I laid eyes on you that you were my forever. It wasn’t a fairy-tale or even an easy road to here but I wouldn’t have it any other way, my love. Today, I want to make promises to you that I will always keep. I promise to never stop holding your hand. I promise to make sure I’m not just hungry when I get upset. I promise to share my food with you, never go to bed angry and always tolerate your love for _Star Trek: Voyager_ …but NOT _Deep Space Nine_. I promise to make you laugh when you are taking yourself too seriously. I promise to stand by your side while you face the world. Listen to you when you speak. I promise to join your laughter with my own and when you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark. 

Ben Solo, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible. I love you.”

They exchanged the rings they had chosen together. After a few more moments, the ceremony was over.

“You may kiss.” Professor Snoke said.

Ben’s eyes were a brilliant bronze and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Gently, he slid his arms around her and pulled her to him, and she lifted her face. Raucous applause drew the birds out of the trees, the crowd cheering during their first kiss. 

“My stunning wife.” He murmured when he lifted his head, his dimples grooved in his cheeks. “I love you, Rey Solo.”

“I love you, too - Ben!” The end of the sentence was a gasp as he swung her into his arms. A ripple of laughter swept through their gathered families and friends as he held her high and turned to face everyone.

“Put me down!” she whispered in a low, insistent tone.

Chuckling, he shook his head, holding her high against his chest as he began to stride back up the aisle. “No way, Mrs. Solo. Now that I’ve caught you for good, I’m going to carry you everywhere.” And he did just that. Their guests were on their feet, hooting and hollering in unabashed approval as they tossed flower petals at the newly married couple. 

  
  


“As much as I appreciate our friends, sweetheart, I seriously thought about walking out during their dance number.” Ben groaned, touching his forehead to hers for a long moment. 

He was holding Rey in his arms, having just stepped inside the honeymoon suite. It was after midnight and their wedding reception was still in full-swing, but Ben and Rey had managed to sneak away, eager to be alone.

“But they worked so hard on it...and it was pretty funny seeing Hux cut loose!” Rey was just starting to giggle when he covered her mouth with his own. She melted into him, sighing in contented pleasure. His lips were soft, shaping hers, sweet and undemanding. Her hands stroked his jaw, deepening the kiss while he carried her towards the king-size bed. Passion overtook them, immediate and intense. His mouth turned into a hot, hungry animal devouring her response, drinking in the little noises she couldn’t hold back, and plunging his tongue into the recesses of her mouth to taste her sweetness.

He set her on the edge of the high bed, though he kept her so deeply immersed in kisses that she barely recognized the motion. His arms loosened slowly, stroking over the slippery satin until he touched her bare back. His fingers were hot, sliding down to undo the small row of buttons before traveling up to her nape. He deftly took care of the inconspicuous hooks that held the top of the dress before pulling the fabric down to uncover her breasts. His thumbs brushed them back and forth, calling her nipples to his touch, and leaving Rey arching into him as the stimulation spread a rioting radius of sensation rolling outward, unerringly arrowing down to concentrate at her slick core. Then his mouth left hers and fastened fiercely on one peaked crest, suckling so strongly she almost screamed aloud. As it was, she moaned wildly, tangling her fingers through his hair, keeping his head a prisoner at her breast.

He surged against her, spreading her thighs with the pressure of his body, moving between her legs only to be foiled by the fabric between them. She shifted and took her hands from his head, using them to brace herself and pushing up against him. Without warning, he was a blur of movement, a whirlwind of action, pulling the rest of her gown down over her hips to pool at their feet. She was left in just white lace knickers and a white and blue garter.

“You’re so beautiful!” His voice was thick with passion. He kissed her roughly, almost frantic even as he worked quickly to rid himself of his clothes. Then he was pressing hot, searing kisses down her bare torso, until his mouth was suddenly nuzzling at her aching core, his breath burning her through her thin panties and his tongue licking insistently against the fabric, dampening it in the process. His large palms settled against her inner thighs, holding her open to his skillful ministrations as he nibbled and licked until he located her clit, settling around her and playing her with devastating precision.

Then she did cry out, throwing her head backwards and gripping the sheets, pushing her body forward, mutely begging him to stop this torment. With a deep, incoherent sound, he rose, tearing the flimsy fabric of her panties, rending them and tossing them aside in one smooth motion that demonstrated vividly the power he possessed. He had meant to make slow, sweet love to her this first time as husband and wife but it had been too long...much too long.

“Please, Ben...I need you…” She moaned, her arms pulling him back down to her.

“Wait...sweetheart...condom.” He leaned slightly towards the bedside table where a discreet black toiletry bag was.

“No...I want you raw.” 

“Are you sure, baby…?” 

“I trust you.” She arched her hips a little, feeling his cock nudge between her slick folds.

“I love you.” He held her gaze, his big body pressing her into the mattress, and entered her with a hard, steady thrust, sheathing himself to the hilt with one movement. Her body arched in feminine shock at the force of his penetration, at this searing invasion. His penis was hard, thick and impossibly deep, and she writhed under him.

He steadied her, holding her firmly as he withdrew a little and thrust again. “I love you,” he said again, eyes completely black with passion.

Rey couldn’t stop her gasping cry at the resulting sensation, the pleasure that was almost torment. Her heart pounded violently against her ribs. She clung to him with desperate hands. Their gazes stayed locked, his fierce and bright and hers soft and yielding. 

“I love you,” His voice was thick. He leaned down to kiss her, his eyes never breaking contact with hers. He held himself still, kissing her deeply, thoroughly until she arched against him, hungry, aching, wanting.

“Please…”

He pulled out almost all the way before pushing back into her, hard and urgent, as if he couldn’t hold back a moment longer. She gasped in pure pleasure, her head falling back and eyes sliding shut.

“Look at me.” 

Ben moved gently at first, slowly, angling his body so he applied pressure where she needed it most. He did things to her with his hands, stroking her swollen clit as their gaze held, making the moment all the _more_. Rey shivered, seeing the love there shining in his eyes. An overwhelming heat swept over her, and she heard herself panting.

He pushed her legs farther apart and thrust deeper, harder, faster. Sensation exploded in her, abruptly convulsing her flesh. She moved beneath him, unable to hold back the short, sharp cries that surged upward, past her constricted throat. The pounding rhythm wouldn’t let the spasms abate; they kept shuddering through her until she was sobbing, mindless, wanting release, wanting more, and finally - when his hard body stiffened and began shuddering - wanting nothing.

“Did I hurt you…?” Ben slipped out of her and moved to her side. “I wanted to love you slowly this first time, wife. “

Rey smiled, touching his face softly. “It was perfect, Ben. And, no, you did not hurt me.”

“Rest, sweetheart.” He held her close and shaped her slender curves, soothing her rapid breathing as she rested against him.

 _His_ , he vowed silently. _Beautiful_ in mind and spirit.

More important to him than anything else in this world.

Something he would endorse every day for the rest of his life.

**Epilogue**

Two years later, a number of invited guests, consisting mainly of family and close friends, attended a party at Ben and Rey’s penthouse residence to celebrate the christening of their children, fraternal twins...Mara Jade and Bail Anakin.

Two beautiful children whose natural birth saw Mara emerge minutes ahead of her brother, and whose cry... _howl_ , her father amended...was loud in protest. Not to be outdone, Bail surpassed her in pitch, and only subsided when he was placed into his mother’s arms.

Now three months of age, they slept in their nursery in adjacent cribs, in the care of a nanny who in turn was closely supervised by doting grandmothers Leia and Jyn and butler-turned-protector Chewie.

After saying the last of their good-byes to their friends, Ben and Rey ascended the stairs together and crossed to the nursery. A dimmed night light revealed two dark-haired babies, their chubby faces serene in sleep.

“Special,” Ben said softly. “So very special,”

They moved quietly from the room and entered their bedroom.

“Have I told you how much I adore you?” Ben turned her into his arms and took possession of her mouth in a kiss that stole the breath from her.

Only every night. “A wife can’t hear too much of a good thing,” she responded with teasing lightness, knowing every word came from the heart.

Seeing her luminous smile and sparkling eyes, Ben still couldn’t believe his good fortune. He had never thought that he would be so blessed as to have Rey, much less two adorable children. His life before Rey had been good but after Rey, ah, life after Rey was exhilarating and...simply splendid. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated! As are kudos! As always, please be courteous in your comments...I am writing for fun and am not a professional. Be kind and stay well! Thanks!


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